Christmas

Yesterday was one of the greatest Christmas celebrations I've ever had. Our church participated this year in the Advent Conspiracy - a movement to try and reclaim Christmas from the busyness and commercialization that it has become. So my wife and I set $50 limits on what we would spend on each other. With a little bit of money and a lot of creativity, we decided to make gifts for each other. She ended up making me an "inspiration board" with several of my favorite quotations from some of my favorite books. It is awesome. I purchased a nice frame, and then drew some pictures and gave it to her. It made her cry, so I guess I win. Haha.

Our church raised over $1600 for the Advent Conspiracy - more than three times bigger than any offering we have ever taken. According to the AC website, it costs $10 to provide clean drinking water for one child - for life. So Story Church gave 160 kids life this year. That's what I'm talking about!!! And the coolest thing for me as a dad - my six year old daughter has been saving change all year. She was able to give more than $30 toward our offering. My six year old gave three kids water for life. HOW COOL IS THAT??

Anyway, Christmas yesterday was really a great time. We opened presents in the morning (even with cutting way back, there was still plenty to go around), then I got to work cooking a big breakfast. My wife's family came over around 11am and we ate like crazy. We played a fun gift exchange game, laughed more than I've laughed probably all year, and played some games. Then everyone left for a couple of hours and we rested and got ready for round two. Dinner was at Kimi's sister's house where we had lasagna and fondue, followed up by more games.

I think the AC movement really enabled me to just enjoy my family and friends this year and to really rest in the idea of Emmanuel - "God with us."

I've already got my idea ready for next year's Christmas. It's gonna make her cry again. Yes!

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Prayer

Just a quick post because it's all I have time for. We are less than 30 days from the launch of Story Church. There is so much going on I can't believe it. Here's the quick list of what this week entails: picking curriculum for kids ministry, establishing some kids ministry policies, planning for our 12/20 preview, preparing my message for Sunday, writing our Bylaws and Constitution, getting funding in place from our friends at the ARC, accounting, planning teaching for the new year, trips to Guitar Center, creating ads for Facebook, creating slides for Sunday, meeting with people regarding a potential new location for Story Church, keeping in touch with supporters, getting background checks done, working on our website, and the list goes on.

Pray for me this week. Pray for Story Church. We've been talking about really slowing down and trying to embrace Christmas and it's kind of hard when you are trying to launch a church at the same time.

In addition to my pastor/church planter hat there's the husband/dad hat which is really the most important to me. Last night we went to dinner which we haven't done in months as a family. That was nice. Today I went and sat in on my daughter's class just for fun. That was nice too.

Trying to keep our family number one during this time is a challenge. Not impossible, but a challenge. Pray for us!

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Spend Less. Give More.

As a church we are celebrating advent by participating in the Advent Conspiracy. It's a movement of Christians that have decided that the consumerism that comes with Christmas isn't the best way to celebrate the birth of Christ. But it's more of a movement for something, rather than a movement against something. It's not a movement that is worried about whether you say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays". It's not a movement about Jesus vs. Santa. It's a movement that is encouraging people to give more of themselves at Christmas. The idea is to give more relational gifts, that maybe cost less in dollars, but more in time. It's about spending time together, creating memories and traditions. Many of us are making homemade gifts this year. Some are simply choosing to spend less on things we don't really need and instead to do something together as a family. In the end, we will be giving the money that we would normally spend on needless gifts to people who truly have needs. Locally, we'll be coming alongside a school and providing for families that really have needs. We are volunteering our time to help in classrooms. And globally, we'll be helping to build clean water wells that will literally save lives and rescue people from disease.

To learn more about the movement check out www.adventconspiracy.org.

For creative gift ideas this Christmas check out www.rethinkingchristmas.com.

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NT Wright on Social Media

NT Wright on Blogging/Social Media from Bill Kinnon on Vimeo.

Thoughts?

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Story Church - Our third preview

Yesterday, November 15 was the third preview service for Story Church. It was the first time we attempted this in the morning, going with a 10am service as opposed to the previous two which were at 6pm. We felt it was important to do at least one of the previews in the morning so that we could figure out timing, lighting, and everything else. Overall it was a good morning. We added some signage this time with some banners out front. We further streamlined our setup and adding some light trees to the auditorium.

I taught on the parable of the Good Samaritan and tried to teach it in such a way that we heard the story in the same way the original audience heard it. I think we were able to accomplish that for the most part. We also tied it in to a movement we are embracing as a church called the Advent Conspiracy. It's a movement that focuses on fighting consumerism at Christmas by giving of ourselves more to each other and by giving to the poor. One of our goals is to deliver a life-giving message every week. I think that this particular message could have used more life. I could have done a better job of connecting the freedom and life that come from loving people as neighbor instead of focusing as much as I did on the ways in which our hearts are closed off to certain people. Both are valid, but one without the other isn't complete. I was trying to get there with our emphasis on Advent Conspiracy, but I'm not sure it got there.

For me, I am still getting back into the swing of preaching. My preparation is getting better, but I am definitely still rusty at times. As a church planter, and the only staff person, it's sometimes tough to find the balance between everything that needs to get done, and the things that only I can do. In other words, I'm trying to learn how to use our team more and more and to focus my own energies on the things that only I can do.

Anyway, as for this preview here are a few things we learned this week:

- Moving our kids registration into the hallway instead of the main room was a good idea.
- Get people involved as soon as possible. We had people serving as greeters who had never been to one of our services. How cool is that?
- We continue to be amazed that people show up. Haha. It's the thing I hear from lots of church planters, but the fact that people actually show up is pretty awesome. They see signs, they find us online, all of it is really cool.
- We're beginning to make the school feel like it's ours. The banners out front and at the entrance really helped.
- We still need more signage inside. We need our kids registration area better marked - though it feels like that is kind of a moving table right now.
- We still need musicians. We had our fearless leader Alastair and we added Jon on electric guitar. But we had no drummer or bass player. I think we missed the energy a full band provides.
- We need a sound guy.
- We need someone who can design our slides each week. I spent a few hours on that this week and it was hard.
- Our clean up seemed to take a long time. Not sure why. I know that more of us were enjoying talking to new people, but we need to figure out how to get cleaned up before noon on Sundays.
- The new sound equipment was awesome. I am excited that we are getting that part of our setup nailed down.
- We need more kids workers.
- I'm still not thrilled with the lighting in the room - I wish we had more control over that.
- It still feels like an elementary school at times. I think we need to invest in some pipe and drape or something like it to cover up some of the realities of where we meet.
- The stage could still use a backdrop as well.
- Offerings still aren't covering the cost of meeting there. At some point that will need to change.

I haven't yet got feedback from our team about their thoughts on the preview. I'll try and post their thoughts this week. We're definitely still figuring things out.

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The gospel and suffering

My friend Luke is a prison chaplain. At the prison he works at, there are five different facilities that house inmates, each one with varying levels of freedom. The lowest level are men who work outside, who aren't locked into cells, and don't have gates keeping them there. At the highest level is full lockdown with double doors, double windows, gates, bars, razor wire, the whole thing. As one of the chaplains, Luke gets the opportunity to preach in each of these facilities. Though he is new, other chaplains have described to him something that he is beginning to see as well. Chaplains describe that the enthusiasm for the gospel is inversely related to the level of freedom that the inmates have. Those that have quite a bit of freedom are generally emotionless and subdued in hearing the gospel preached to them. Those that are kept under higher levels of security express much greater enthusiasm for the gospel.

I suppose this shouldn't surprise me. Jesus had crowds of "sinners" that couldn't get enough of him. Those that outwardly were probably furthest from God were the most attracted to a message of hope and grace and freedom. On the other hand, religious people hated Jesus. Those that outwardly seemed to have it all together had the least need for Jesus (or so they thought) and therefore saw Jesus words as a threat rather than a welcomed hope.

We see the same thing outside of prison walls though don't we? Why is it that the church in the United States is in decline while everywhere else in the world it is flourishing? Why is it that in some of the most difficult, painful places in the world the gospel is seeing unprecedented growth and advance? Freedom, prosperity, and consumerism can be numbing. The church in America is largely filled with affluent people who have always had everything they wanted. We have rarely been in a position where our freedom has been limited. We have probably never gone without a meal - except by choice. If we don't like Church A, then we'll just go down the street to Church B. Or maybe we'll just stay home.

While the reality is that the church here is in decline, I am hopeful for the church. I believe that our best days are still ahead of us. The church in the western world has unprecedented opportunity. But we need a desperation for God. We will never change the world by being comfortable. We must be willing to step into brokenness, to embrace the suffering, and to learn from our brothers and sisters around the world who are poor and marginalized. Our freedom and our prosperity must never be allowed to numb us to the power of the gospel. Jesus said that he came for the sick. He came to set the prisoners free, to clothe the naked, to feed the hungry. I want to be part of a church that is full of sick, naked, hungry prisoners. I want to be surrounded by people who are desperate for God, aware of their own failures, and eager for more of Jesus.

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The long, dark, cold winter...

The day after the Angels are eliminated from the playoffs is a dark day for me every year. There are always the questions of what if, and if they only, and wondering if things could have turned out different. This year it could also mean the departure of three long time Angels - John Lackey, Vlad Guerrero, and Chone Figgins. There is still a World Series coming - which I will watch. But more as a removed baseball fan than a fan of any particular team. I'll pretty much be rooting for the Phillies - I'd love to see a back to back champion not named the Yankees. Pretty much anyone taking on the Yankees is going to get my vote.

Next year the All-Star game will be in Anaheim. I hope to be able to go back to CA and go to the game. I was at the 2002 World Series and fortunately had the opportunity to be at game 7 and watch the Angels win it all. It was the highlight of my sports fan life. I think going to an All-Star game would be the next coolest thing - particularly at my team's field.

As the season ends every year I start thinking about where I'll be by the time the season starts again. I guess for me the calendar year is not as telling as the baseball season. But by the time pitchers and catchers report in late February, our church will be six weeks old. That's a crazy thought. And if all goes well, my son should arrive just in time for opening day. You can bet I'll be holding him that day and introducing him to the greatest game on earth.

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Jerel Law

Check out this great post from Jerel Law on Story. There's a conference coming up in Chicago on Story and Jerel is going. I look forward to hearing more from Jerel and from the Story Conference next week.

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Humility

Here's some more from Catalyst. It was great to hear from Malcolm Gladwell, the author of The Tipping Point and Outliers. I enjoyed listening to him for the first time. But for some reason I kept thinking "More cowbell."

What does the financial crisis tell us about leadership?
Miscalibration - thinking you know more than you actually know. Overconfidence.
In times of crisis we think we need daring and bold decision making, but we don’t. What we need is humility.

Andy Stanley's questions:
What are the warning signs of an overconfident leader?
- The potential for it is in all of us. All of us start to think we are better than we are.
- We should be looking for it in everyone who is in authority.
- When they stop listening to the people around them, watch out.
Humility = the ability to listen to others.
Can a leader see this in the mirror?
- In the Iraq war, we went in terribly overconfident. There was a point where we realized we were wrong, and had to start over.
What do you say to the leader who has resisted accountability?
- In business there’s a moment where the entrepreneur can no longer do it on their own.
- Growth requires a change in leadership - it can’t all go through one person anymore.

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Catalyst 09

I had the great privilege of going this year to Catalyst, which was last week in the Atlanta area. It was also the first time my wife has gotten to come with me to a conference in a long time (six years we think!). We left the kids at home and had an amazing couple of days listening to some great wisdom. I took notes during most sessions, so over the next few days I'll post my notes on some of the speakers that were there.

My notes are kind of sporadic, so if you have trouble following them and want some clarification, let me know.

First up, Andy Stanley:

Leaders always leave a mark, the question is what kind of mark will you leave?
You won’t really understand the mark you’ve left until way after you’ve made it.
You don’t know a defining moment is happening until long after it happens

Joshua
- He and the people have crossed the Jordan and are beginning to lose their dependence on God.
- At the end of his life he says “as for me and my house we will serve the Lord” - Joshua 23:8-15
- Joshua 5:13 - Are you for us or are you against us? The angel says “no.”
- “I’m not here to be a part of your story. I’m here to find out if you are willing to play a role in my story.”
- This is a question that very few leaders are willing to wrestle with.
- “What message does my Lord have for his servant?”
- Joshua made a decision in that moment to be part of God’s story, not his own.
- V.15 - “Take off your sandals. This is holy ground.”
- Before you make your mark and become a household name, I just wanted to make sure you were going to be a leader not just with authority but under authority.
- This is why late in his life he is able to say “as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.”
- God takes full responsibility for the life wholly devoted to him - Charles Stanley.
- Why do we do what we do and who do we do it for?
- Once we settle that in our lives, then we can live with a freedom that is unexplainable.
- God will take full responsibility.
- Our mark isn’t worth our life. Living to make my mark is too small a thing to give my life to.

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Second Preview

This last Sunday was the second preview service for Story Church. Here are my thoughts about what went well and what we learned:

1. Setup went much smoother - everyone was assigned a job, and there was a clear priority list in terms of what needed to get done first.
2. Our new screen is approximately 1,000 times better than the original. It is no longer a jumbotron and we were able to project straight ahead to the stage.
3. Tablecloths made a huge difference! Made our hospitality and check-in areas look sharp.
4. The first preview was too bright on stage, so this time we turned out the lights. It was too dark. We need to invest in some lighting.
5. We are still borrowing from a couple of different sound systems. This makes setup a bit confusing and cumbersome. We need to get our own stuff soon.
6. The flow of the service worked out much better this time.
7. We intentionally had a woman on the stage! We are no longer chauvinists.
8. Our media looked good, we just need to work on the timing of changing slides.
9. We need more signage - outside, inside, hallways, registration areas, everywhere.
10. We did a better job with the offering this time - we didn't belabor it, and we had a cool new box for the offering specifically. It is no longer on the food table :).
11. Our team needs to model worship a little bit more. At times there was some awkwardness because it seemed like people didn't know when to stand or sing or whatever.
12. Alastair still has an accent. Haha. We're thinking about using subtitles.
13. The teardown went fast. We were out by 8pm (service ended at 7:15 - right on time!).
14. We forgot to bring our connection cards and kids registration cards. That made for a panicked 15 minutes until my wife drove home and found them. That's probably one of the most important elements to what we're doing - so slight oversight there!
15. My sermon felt rushed and crammed. I'm out of practice with this preaching stuff and I need to relearn how to simplify.
16. We need a second parking lot person.
17. We need a countdown clock or something like it - it didn't seem like people really believed we were starting when we did.
18. We should probably mention the connection cards more than once.
19. Facebook ads really work! I think we need to do them more.
20. I can't wait for November 15. This is too much fun.

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Thoughts on U2

I was mowing my lawn on Saturday when my wife came outside with the phone. While I hated to stop my masterful yard manicuring, she seemed persistent. What I soon found out was that a friend was calling with news of a lifetime. He had an extra ticket to that night's U2 concert in Raleigh and wanted to know if I would please take it. Hmmm.... Let me think. Heck yes!! Oh yeah, and the seats were amazing. $250 worth of amazing. For free. A couple of years ago I got to see Coldplay in CA on the X and Y tour. It was the most amazing show I'd ever seen. For me there was only one other band that I wanted to see in my lifetime - U2.

So Saturday is our normal Launch Team meetings for Story Church. My plan was to go ahead and have our meeting, cut it short, and bail out in time for U2 (though I was bummed that I would be missing Muse). The show started at 7, and my thought was that U2 would probably go on about 9pm. So we finished up with our Launch Team around 7pm, and I left the house around 7:15. The stadium is only about 20 minutes from my house so I figured I had plenty of time. Around 9pm I was still in my car, still trying to get to the stadium and find a parking spot! After a couple hours of frustration I began hearing from police officers and walkers that there was no more parking - period. WHAT??? How can there not be any more parking?? So I found a side street, and took off looking for a place to park and run back. Eventually I found a neighborhood, paid a guy $10 to park in his yard, and ran about a mile back to the stadium. By the time I got to my seats and found my friend U2 was on their 7th song - Elevation. My favorite moment of the night (and there were many) had to be the honest, simple singing of Amazing Grace by Bono, with several thousand people singing along. The pastor in me is amazed at the power of a rock star to get people singing of God's grace. It was a profound moment I felt.

The stage design was incredible, the video screens and lights and everything else made the show an unbelievable experience. This wasn't just a rock concert though. These guys are passionate about justice and have learned that their influence can really change the world. They highlighted the One campaign (join now if you haven't already), the political prisoner Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma, the religious fighting of Protestants and Catholics in Ireland, and there was even a word from Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

This was truly an experience of a lifetime. Don't you just love those moments where God surprises you for no reason at all - where you just get blessed with something amazing that you don't deserve?

Amazing Grace indeed.

Here is the setlist of the show:

Breathe
Get On Your Boots
Mysterious Ways
Beautiful Day / C Moon (snippet)
No Line On The Horizon
Magnificent
Elevation
In A Little While
New Year's Day
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For / Stand By Me (snippet)
Stuck In A Moment
The Unforgettable Fire
Mofo (snippet) / City Of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
Crazy Tonight / Thank You (Falettin Me Be Mice Elf Again) (snippet)
Sunday Bloody Sunday / Rock The Casbah (snippet) / People Get Ready (snippet)
MLK
Walk On / You'll Never Walk Alone (snippet)

Encore(s):
One / Amazing Grace (snippet)
Where The Streets Have No Name
Ultra Violet (Light My Way)
With Or Without You
Moment of Surrender

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100 Days

Today marks the 100 day countdown to the launch of Story Church. Depending on your perspective, that can either seem like a long time, or not much time at all. For me, it's more of the latter. A couple of months ago the plan was to launch on September 13. I had a hard time giving up that date and pushing things back, but I am so glad that we did. I can't even imagine what things would have been like if we had tried to push it. We simply wouldn't have made it.

So what is there to do in the next 100 days? Here are some of the things we are trying to accomplish in no specific order:

1) 3 preview services - Oct. 11, Nov. 15, and Dec. 20. The previews serve two purposes - to allow people to see who we are and maybe get excited enough about our vision to join our team. And secondly, to let us practice and try and figure this thing out.

2) To grow our team to about 35 adults. It just takes a certain amount of people to be able to hold babies, serve people, etc.

3) To raise money. We are trying to be good steward of what we have, but it simply costs money to start a church that meets in a rented facility. There is sound equipment, kids ministry stuff, food, advertising, rent, insurance, graphic design and more to pay for.

4) Serve our community. We are trying to build into the DNA of Story Church that we are going to be a church that not only exists within our community but that we play a vital role in it. Our desire is to be a generous, life-giving church. That doesn't happen on Sunday mornings alone. So we are beginning to find our place in Durham and the ways that we can live out the gospel to all people.

I'm so excited for these next 100 days. They are vitally important days. They are days of faith, of great dependence upon God. Pray for us and for Story Church. And if you are in the Triangle area, let us share our heart and vision with you. Come out and visit us on October 11 for our next preview. All of the details are on our website here.

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A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: A Review

I've been waiting for this book for more than two years. It was at least that long ago now that Donald Miller spoke at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, MI on the subject of Story. It was a talk that I have gone back to probably a dozen times. It's a talk that led me to dream, and then to ultimately step out and begin planting a church - Story Church.

I must admit that I am already a Donald Miller fan. I've read Blue Like Jazz, Searching for God Knows What, and To Own a Dragon. Each of these books has played a key role in my spiritual journey. But even as a fan, I don't think I was ready for what A Million Miles has done to me.

This book is the result of Don's real life experience with editing his memoir Blue Like Jazz to be made into a movie. During the process, he begins to learn all the elements of story - what makes a story good, what makes a story bad, etc. After realizing that his own real life story wasn't really going anywhere, he decided to apply the elements of story to his life. He begins to intentionally seek out a story of purpose and meaning by facing his fears, chasing down his dreams, and embracing the challenges and conflicts that come his way. The result is profound.

A Million Miles is raw. It's gut wrenchingly vulnerable. I found myself regularly laughing out loud. A few pages later I found myself weeping. It was convicting, challenging, inspiring, and unsettling. I was blown away at how vulnerable Miller is in this book. I felt at times like he was letting me in on parts of his life and his thoughts in a way that I haven't even done with some of my closest friends. From the journey to find his dad, to the quest to find love, it was an unbelievable ride.

This is one of those books that will forever change me. I will no doubt read it again and again. As a pastor I can say without a doubt that this is a book I will be giving away to everyone who will read it. It isn't preachy. It's honest, funny, beautiful, and inspiring. And if you and I let these truths seep in, our stories will never be the same.

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First Preview

Now that we're two days removed from our first preview, here are some things that we learned as a team:

1) We knew we had a lot to setup, but we didn't really have tasks assigned. So we ended up looking like a 5 year old soccer team - all of us together running around chasing the same problem.

2) Flexibility is the name of the game in a portable environment. When we showed up, there were 200 chairs set up and the back wall of the gym was open into the cafeteria. While we ended up getting it closed and most of the chairs put away, right from the start we had obstacles we weren't planning on.

3) We needed start times for each of our jobs. What time should we be at the door greeting? What time should the band be done? What time should kids registration start? etc.

4) Our screen is too big. Seriously a 9' x 12' screen is cool, but way too big for our setting. Because of the size we had very little flexibility on our setup and it had to be way over on the side which caused people to look sideways to see it.

5) Transitions. They need work.

6) Borrowing from three different sound systems is confusing. It made for a much more complex setup and teardown. "Is this mine, or yours, or theirs?" Next time we'll try and piece enough together to use just our own stuff.

7) Connection Cards are awkward. We didn't really know when in the service to do them, and it just felt weird.

8) Money. In our effort to not talk much about money and not make an offering a big deal - we ended up making it a big deal. haha.

9) Our band rocked. Too bad they may be all different next time!

10) This is stinking fun. I could give my life to this kind of thing.

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Today

Today is the day. It's so cool to work toward something and pray about something for years and then finally get to catch a first glimpse of it. Today is the first preview service for Story Church. We'll be meeting at 6pm at Spring Valley Elementary School. I am so proud of our team. They have worked so hard over the last few months to get ready for this day. They have given of their time, their resources, and have served this community without any negativity or complaining.

It's quite humbling to know that there are literally hundreds of people praying for us today. At my home church in CA they will be showing a video from us today, and spending some time praying for us and our service. Many others have committed to pray for us on this day as well.

I feel a sort of nervous excitement. Part of me thinks we're going to knock it out of the park, and the other part of me hopes someone shows up! Either way, we can't really do anything about that now. We realize as a team that today is a necessary step for us whether anyone shows up or not. It's a day that we need, as a team. We will learn so much today about our systems, about our readiness, and about our ability to be flexible when we need to be.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted about how things went. In the meantime, you can check out the new website that went live today at www.storychurch.org.

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Fire

In case you missed it, CA is on fire. And I'm not just talking about the economic condition. You may know that I have only lived in NC for a year. Before that, I spent my whole life in a little city called Yucaipa in southern California. CA regularly gets fires this time of year, and right now there is a major fire in my city of Yucaipa and the surrounding hills. Many of my friends have had to evacuate their homes. I have many firefighting friends as well. Please pray that God will send cooler weather and that those fighting the fires will have success and safety.

(Thanks to Ron Sheveland for the photo)

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Taking a Break

I've been away from the blog lately. I've been away from twitter, facebook, and just about everything else too - including my "work" of starting a new church. And you know what? I'm not sorry for it. Instead I've been hanging out with friends that came to visit. Last week six former students and another friend flew in to spend a week with us here in Durham. It was so good just to hang out with them. I laughed a lot. I don't think I've been laughing much lately. Now they are gone, but by mom flew in and so did my cousin. My cousin and I are leaving today to drive up to Virginia to meet another cousin. The three of us are going to Baltimore for the weekend to catch a couple baseball games - Angels are in town.

I needed a break like this. Next week I'll hit the ground running again ready to go. But for now, bring on the baseball weekend!

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Art that speaks

My five year old daughter taught me a huge lesson the other day. She was busily coloring on a piece of paper. After she was done, she folded it up neatly and handed it to me. When I unfolded it, I saw a picture of a beach setting. I thanked her for the beautiful drawing and she went back to coloring. Only this time, she wasn't taking her time at all. She started scribbling on the paper with multiple colors. "What are you doing?" I asked. Her answer gave me huge insight. She said "This one is for Joy, this is how she colors." You see, Joy is 18 months old. Hannah is right, when Joy colors she simply puts marker to paper wherever it lands and lets it fly. But what amazed me was that Hannah didn't just make a picture that she liked - she contextualized it for Joy. She made a picture that Joy could "understand" so to speak. She spoke her language. Brilliant.

Ok God, I get it. Thanks.

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One

One year ago today, I was on I-40 somewhere in the middle of the United States. I had just left the only place I'd ever called home in Yucaipa, CA. I had left the only ministry I'd ever known. I left my extended family, my friends, my security, my paycheck, much of my stuff. Ahead of me there were many more miles on my way to Durham, NC. There was also a new life waiting for me, a new adventure, a new ministry, new friends, new neighbors, new purpose, new challenges. As I sat with the Story Church launch team on Saturday night in my house, I was blown away by all that has happened over the last year. What began as a vision God gave me and my wife to plant a life-giving church is now a vision that several people share. When we moved here we didn't know anyone. Today we have a team. We didn't know where this church would be - today we have a location. We didn't know if the money would come in - we've never gone hungry.

There have been days over the past year where I have wondered what it would have been like if I stayed in CA. Some days I've been lonely and longed for the deep friendships I left behind. Other times I thought about how nice it was to never worry about whether or not money would show up in the mailbox to pay the bills that were due this week. But then I look at the people on our team and I am amazed. I am amazed that a group of people who didn't know each other a year ago now gather every week to dream together about a church that will transform lives and demonstrate the resurrected Jesus in this community. I'm amazed that God has gone before us and prepared the way.

I always compare that longing feeling, that looking back at the way things were, to the Israelites who were rescued from Egypt. In the Scriptures we learn of this people who were slaves in Egypt. God rescued them out of Egypt and led them to the "Promised Land". But they didn't just go straight there. They first went out into the wilderness. And the wilderness lasted a long time. And it was difficult. And it didn't take long for them to start looking back over their shoulders and longing for Egypt. They longed for the place where they were slaves in forced labor, a people with no identity, no land for themselves, and no hope. It seems strange from our perspective, but I don't think it's that strange really. I think it's natural. I think we long for the things that we know already - even if they aren't ideal. Because going out into the wilderness is scary. It's difficult.

But on the other side, there's a promised land. There's blessing. There's hope.

I don't know what that looks like for you. But I hope that you have the courage to keep looking ahead. Keep following the vision God has given you. There's something so much better just ahead.

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I am not a salesman

When I was little it seemed like I was always raising money for something. (I guess some things don't change - see storychurch.org to give now!) I remember one time standing out front of the grocery store selling candy for yet another church trip. I think this time it was chocolate eggs, large tasty eggs, for $6 a piece. I remember the man who felt bad for me and bought my last 5 eggs which meant I got to go to Disneyland for free. But it wasn't because I was a great salesman. It was pity. I didn't have a smooth sales pitch, an engaging question, or even a sweet catch phrase like "BINGO!" (see yesterday's post if you don't understand)

I still hate selling stuff. In fact, even watching someone sell someone else on something is kind of awful to me. I hate the fact that it feels like someone is getting manipulated. I hate the false sense of excitement, the way the product gets talked up as if it's the greatest thing ever, and the feeling I get when I've been totally bamboozled into buying something I didn't really want or need.

I fear this about being a pastor. I never want to be a salesman. I don't want to have to give a pitch for Jesus. I don't want to have to talk Him up like "He slices, He dices, He blesses." I fear this because I guess there's enough of it in the church world that it makes me afraid to become that. There's certainly a reality to the fact that I want people to come to Jesus because of what He can do for them - heal them, restore them, redeem them. But Jesus isn't a product, and the church isn't just the packaging, and as the pastor I'm not Billy Mays (RIP). If Jesus isn't attractive enough on his own, lived out by his followers, then we're probably doing something wrong.

With that said, I'm all for churches making Sunday morning worship an attractive thing. It would kind of be counter-productive to say that we shouldn't do that. But don't invite your friends to church so that the professional salesman can sell them on Jesus. It doesn't matter what I say as the pastor - the message they will hear the loudest is what they see in you. And frankly, I'm out of the chocolate egg industry.

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BINGO!

I was sitting in Starbucks the other day working on my laptop when it happened. I've seen it unfold probably a dozen times in coffee shops over the years. Some young couple is meeting with some slick salesman who wants them to join his pyramid scheme (close enough anyway) with the promise that what they are about to do is easy and will make them tons of money in almost no time at all. This time, the salesman was selling Identity Theft Protection. He was good I must admit. He knew how to make a sale. He had this young couple saying "yes" a lot. They were excited. It seemed so easy. And to back it all up - he had a catch phrase. "BINGO!" Just about every 30 seconds he'd ask them a question with an obvious answer, and as they responded he would excitedly say "BINGO!" I have to admit, I started looking forward to it. I was anticipating it every time. I even said it with him a couple of times under my breath. I was getting so caught up in all of this that I was ready to join his scheme.

I learned several things from observing this whole thing go down. This week I'll try and unpack some of them for you. In the meantime, let's start with something a little lighter. As far as catch phrases go, "BINGO!" is pretty awesome. What are some great catch phrases that you and I can work into our vocabulary? I'll go first and stay in the classic game department. How about "YAHTZEE!?"

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Drops Like Stars

It arrived by UPS yesterday. I wasn't really prepared for what I was about to experience. Rob Bell's latest book Drops Like Stars is a work of art. From the second I opened the box I knew that this would be quite an experience. The book is large. Not in terms of page numbers or content - but in actual size. It's huge. Think yearbook, or coffee table book. It's pages are bright red. Throughout the book you will find stories, incredible photos, and great insight from Bell.

In its pages, Bell addresses the issue of suffering. But rather than addressing it in terms of "why?" he instead focuses on the "what now?" that comes from suffering. When the unexpected happens, and our frame of reference gets thrown out of whack - what is the result? Bell sees that art and beauty and creativity are the result of suffering. It's from experiencing pain that enables someone to create something that resonates so deeply with an audience.

One part of the book is called "The art of elimination." Bell talks about how when we strip everything away that isn't necessary, something beautiful emerges. In the arena of sculpture for instance, it was Michelangelo who said that his "David" was clamoring to be freed. I loved the story of Johnny Cash that Bell includes. By the early 90s Cash had been almost forgotten by the music industry. Rick Rubin took Cash, stripped everything away except for the man, a microphone, and his guitar. All of his band and everything that gave him comfort were gone. He shares that at the first solo acoustic show in Los Angeles, Johnny Cash was terrified. After thousands of shows all over the world, the idea of playing by himself was almost too much to bear. It was in that terror that something beautiful emerged - the honest, simple voice of an aging legend.

Though I hadn't planned to do it, I read the book from cover to cover in about an hour (maybe less). In terms of written content, there is very little - hardly enough to be called a book. But between his thoughts and the amazing photos, I feel as though I've experienced something great. I'll end with this excerpt:

"I want desperately for things to go 'how they're supposed to.' Which is another way of saying 'how I want them to,' which is another way of saying 'according to my plan.' And that, as we all know, isn't how it works. But it's that disappointment, in that confusion, in that pain - the pain that comes from things not going how I wanted them to - that I find the same thing happening, again and again. I come to the end of myself, to the end of my power, the end of my strength, the end of my understanding, only to find in that place of powerlessness a strength and peace that weren't there before. I keep discovering that it's in the blemish that the Spirit enters. The cross, it turns out, is about the mysterious work of God which begins not with big plans and carefully laid out timetables, but in pain and anguish and death."

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Plans vs. Vision

"Plans change, vision stays the same." I listened recently to another Andy Stanley leadership podcast that hit me at just the right time. I asked on twitter last week for people to be praying for me as I had some pretty big decisions to make. I feel like God really answered many of those prayers by allowing me to hear this particular podcast. In it, Andy talks about how many of us fail to realize that our particular vision is not the same as our particular plan. I know for me this church planting adventure that I am on is one where my plans and the vision God has given me sometimes get confused. I think this is common for many of us. Maybe your vision is about a particular ministry, or about your business, or even a particular vision for your family. Our plans become so important to us. After all, we pray about them, we align our finances around them, we follow our plan to the greatest detail. But which is more important - the plan (how I will accomplish the vision), or the vision itself? Sometimes we have to be willing to be flexible with our plans. Plans change, vision stays the same.

In my context my church planting plan has had some significant changes along the way. The vision has continued to stay the same. Our vision is to plant a life-giving church that encourages people to embrace the story they were meant to live. It's a vision that calls people out of boredom and into the life God intended for them. And yet my plan has often gotten confused with that vision. Originally my plan was that this would happen primarily in downtown Durham. When God began pointing me closer to the Grove Park area, I struggled with that. How could we change our focus like that? Oh yeah - downtown isn't the vision, a life-giving church is the vision. More recently I've wrestled with a new change of plans. For a year I've been planning on launching Story Church on September 13, 2009. And yet recently, I've come to terms with the fact that we aren't ready to launch. At first this was a devastating reality for me. How can I change my launch date?? Oh yeah, September 13 isn't the vision - a healthy, life-giving church is the vision. September 13 is a plan. And it can change without affecting the vision.

How about you? What's the vision you have for your life, your career, your family, your marriage? Is that vision married to a particular plan, or is the plan flexible? If we don't learn to flex the plan, our vision can die with a bad plan. Good vision thrives at the right time with the right plan - but it's not the same as our plan. We die for vision, but not for our plans.

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Date Night

To all my married friends out there, what's the rhythm of your marriage? How often do you go on a date with your wife? How much do you spend? What are some of the creative things you've done for cheap? My wife and I would like to go out every week, but we have basically no money - so we need some creative ideas. Help a brother out!

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Trust me

I was reading a very familiar proverb today when something occurred to me that I never noticed before. It comes from Proverbs 3:5-6 in the Old Testament of the Bible. It says this:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

You see, I've always pictured trust as being one of things we do when, based upon the facts at hand, we make an intellectual decision to go along with the situation at hand. We decide to trust, and in doing so, we trust with our heads. But today I noticed something different. This particular verse says to trust "with all [our] heart." Our hearts are the center of our will. It's the place where we sit on the throne. It's definitely an area of decision making, but it's not an intellectual decision per se. It's a decision to place our will in submission to someone or something else. We "trust" when we submit our will. Solomon (the writer of Proverbs) places this trust in direct contrast to "our own understanding." He knows that all too often we want to fall back on our own wisdom, our own experience, our own understanding. Trust is difficult. Trust is required when we don't have all the answers, when things don't make sense, or when things are outside of our control.

The other thing I find interesting here is this: Solomon is said to be the wisest man who ever lived. And yet Solomon is saying that we shouldn't lean on our own understanding. If anyone could have done some leaning on their own wisdom you would think it would be Solomon. Which basically tells me, I'm in trouble if I think I can do life on my own.

I love the promise here that if we trust God, and acknowledge Him in all our ways, he will make our paths straight. He'll clear the road. He'll take care of us. I've experienced that so many times. The times of biggest stress in my life are when I look around and realize that I'm depending on myself instead of Him.

How about you? What do you think of trust coming from the heart? What do you think that looks like?

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Declaration of Dependence

Independence is overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love living in a free country, but I'm a bit over the individualized existence so many of us live. Somewhere along the line we as Americans, maybe even as Christians, have come to the conclusion that we are the center of our world, and that we don't need anyone else. We have become our own masters, and even those of us who call ourselves Christians have become very independent of each other - after all, all I need is Jesus, right? In what has been a very difficult, trying, and stressful time - I'm declaring today my complete and utter dependence. I am learning just how dependent I am on others. Kimi and I live and pay our bills because of the generosity of others. We live on their monthly support which allows us to focus on ministry here in Durham. So we are dependent upon so many in that regard. I'm also learning more and more what it meant when God said "It is not good for man to be alone." We were created for relationships. None of us can live the kind of lives we were meant to live without investing in relationships. We left California 11 months ago now. That's hard to believe. I've learned over these months just how dependent I am on having friends that I can lean on, and friends that lean on me. I've really missed that. None of us is created to do this life solo. I am learning more and more about the depth of relationship available in my wife as well. She is my closest friend, my greatest ally, my strongest supporter and encourager. I am dependent upon her in so many ways.

Ultimately, I am dependent upon my God. I am dependent upon him for his provision, for his love, and his grace. I've made some pretty huge mistakes along the way in my life, and it's my dependence upon him that has sustained me through those times. I'm dependent upon him for hope, for forgiveness, for restoration. I'm dependent upon him for direction, for wisdom, and for guidance. I am trying to plant a church with people I don't yet know, and money we don't yet have. I'm dependent upon him to build his church.

In our finances, we're dependent. In our marriage, we're dependent. In our parenting, we're dependent. In our relationships, we're dependent. In this church plant, we're dependent.

I think we're afraid of being dependent, or maybe just of admitting it. In doing so, we admit our weaknesses, and our need for others. That's not usually the kind of thing we like to announce or celebrate. But I wonder what we're missing by being so independent? In the midst of celebrating a country that is free this weekend, I'd challenge you to celebrate and embrace your dependence.

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Veggie Tales

Sometimes God uses the strangest things to speak to me - like a Pirate who doesn't do anything. There's a movie theater near our house that shows free movies for kids all throughout the summer. Today's movie was the Veggie Tales "The Pirates who don't do anything." I thought I'd spend some time with my daughter today so I took her on a date to see the movie. The place was packed with mom's, snacks, and hobbit-like children. Hannah and I sat down in the middle of the theater and settled in for the movie. To be honest, I was fading in and out throughout the movie - dozing off a couple of times.

Anyway, the story was about three "pirates" who really aren't pirates at all. They get magically whisked away to a time and place where real pirates are threatening a kingdom. There is a call that goes out for some "heroes" to come and save the day, and here come these pretend pirates. They are wrestling with their own insecurities, their fears, and a general laziness that comes with the title of "Pirates-who-don't-do-anything." The story is basically about these pirates slowly embracing this opportunity to live out an adventure, to overcome their own fears and insecurities, and to truly live out heroic lives.

In the end (and yes, I'm spoiling it for you - but come on, were you really going to see it?), the three vegetables in question receive medals for their bravery. This is the point that God began to speak to me. After receiving their rewards, one of the characters declares that the king had called the wrong veggies - that they weren't in fact real heroes. The king then tells them that it was no mistake that they were called - that they were exactly who he wanted. He reassures them that they had all that was needed in order to fulfill the roles they were called to in this adventure.

I don't know about you, but I personally wrestle with fears and insecurities all the time. I wonder if God has called the wrong person to plant a church here in Durham. I compare myself to other more capable people. I struggle with doubt and fear. Just last night my wife and I were talking and I was confessing these things to her. She is constantly reminding me of all the ways that God has seemingly called us to do what we are doing. God speaks to me through her all the time. In the Bible God speaks through some crazy things - a burning bush, angels, hands writing on the wall, a cloud, even a donkey. This morning, God spoke to me through a vegetable.

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10 years and counting...

We got married pretty young. I was 21, she was 20. But in our defense, we dated for four years counting our engagement. It's not like it was a rash decision. I look back at our wedding pictures now and I see it - wow, we were young. But God has been so good to us. We are truly more in love today than we were on that day. I seriously feel like I'm still getting to know her. It's as if layers of depth continue to be unfolded for me, and I see her in new ways all the time. I have friends and family whose marriages haven't enjoyed the same kind of growth and love. I've seen people close to me split and relationships torn apart. I'm not naive enough to think that I'm immune from that kind of thing. As if somehow my marriage is indestructible. I think it's precisely because of that fragility, that I work so hard at protecting it. Marriage is not easy. It's not a given. But it is the most life-giving, beautiful thing in the world when it functions the way God intended. I get to wake up every day and win the heart of my wife all over again. Some days I do that well, others days I fail. But tomorrow I get to do it all over again. I have been so blessed by this woman. She stretches my faith, she teaches me about love and sacrifice and humility, and I am simply a better follower of Jesus because of her.

Anyway, here are some of the lessons I've learned along the way. I'd love to hear some feedback from others of you who've learned similar or other lessons.

1. Don't go to bed angry. Seriously. Don't do it. There have been times when we've laid in bed where the silence was thick. I might lay there for an hour, but at some point we're going to talk. I won't ignore it. I won't let it go. The second you choose to let it go and bury it, is the second you've stopped fighting for your marriage. Seriously, this is huge.

2. Serve each other. Whether it's cleaning up the kitchen, taking the kids so she can relax, or when she makes me food, or encourages me to go hang out with the guys. There's no "I" in marriage. oh wait... How about "we" is more important than "me."

3. Date. We've always tried to get out and do stuff together. Really in the last year though this has become so important for us. I find that as we get busier, and as stresses increase with finances, kids, etc. it's even more important that we don't neglect dating each other. For many people the difficult times create strain on their relationship. For us these have become important times of connection. I find that we grow deeper and stronger through adversity rather than fragmenting. And that's not because it just happens. We force ourselves to spend the time, to talk through the pain, to confront the elephant in the room.

4. Honor God. I don't know what else to call this. But maybe the best example of this is in finances. Statistics say that finances is the #1 reason marriages don't make it. The stress of paying bills, the differing priorities when it comes to spending, all of that can be quite a threat to a marriage. We have found that God's way really is the best way. And I know that sounds trite or whatever, but stay with me for a second. We just don't argue about money because we are committed to honoring God with our finances. That means we give generously, no matter the circumstances. We have always lived within our means, refusing to carry debt. What debt we had from school and cars, we've aggressively paid those things off. We've also tried to save so that we would have margin in times of difficulty. Right now is one of the most difficult financial times of our marriage. And yet, there is a strange peace in knowing that because we have committed to honoring God in this way, we don't have to worry.

Andy Stanley recently gave a talk about Pathways. He says that the path you're on determines the destination. I know that isn't all that profound, but it's surprising how many people don't understand that. The direction you are headed will determine where you end up, not your intentions or desires. When we left CA to move to NC, we could have done all the planning in the world. We could have mapped out our travel, all our stops, created a budget, all of that. But if we had gotten on Interstate 10 and headed west, despite all our best intentions, we would have ended up at the Pacific Ocean, not in NC. Many people want to have a healthy marriage. They want to grow old with someone and they dream of raising an incredible family together. But then they get on the 10 and head west. They make decisions along the way that lead them on a different path, not the one they intended to be on. And when they get there, they wonder how it happened. Their intentions and their desires for their marriage and their family don't line up with where they find themselves. Kimi and I have a destination in mind. And we believe that the things I mentioned above (along with many other things like sacrifice, commitment, trust, accountability, etc.) will get us there.

Here's to the next 10 years, and hopefully many more beyond that!

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Advance09

What do you get when you put 3,000 Calvinists in the same room? A conference that was predestined to happen I guess. Last week I had the opportunity to attend Advance09 - a national conference on the resurgence of the local church. The conference was held right here in Durham, where close to 3,000 pastors, leaders, and future leaders descended upon the Durham Performing Arts Center. Speakers included Ed Stetzer, Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Tyler Jones, John Piper, Eric Mason, and JD Greear. While each speaker had their own topic they were teaching, one message seemed to clearly rise from all of them: For any resurgence of the local church to happen, we must have Jesus at the center. We must preach Jesus. We must do what Jesus did. We must embrace what Jesus cares about.

Here are a few of the highlights for me:

Driscoll defined the church using these 8 marks. If all of these aren't present, then according to Driscoll, you aren't a church:
1) Regenerated church membership
2) Qualified leadership
3) Gathering for preaching
4) Sacraments rightly administered
5) Unified by the Spirit
6) Discipline for holiness (church discipline)
7) Obey the commandment to love one another (generosity)
8) Obey the great commission to evangelize and make disciples

Tyler Jones (Vintage21, Raleigh) talked about the church in decline. I really appreciated his kingdom minded heart. The primary point he made was that we need "long-term, active repentance. Not short-term, passive repentance." For Tyler this means that he has gone out of his way to undo the competitive spirit he once felt with other churches in his area. He has instead embraced churches, given them resources and encouragement, and developed friendships that are meaningful with other pastors.

Ed Stetzer was, in my opinion, the best speaker I heard at the event. His challenge was for us to embrace who we are, right now, as leaders and churches. He urged the 3,000 Driscollites to stop acting as if they were in Seattle and instead to embrace their own community, their own church body, and their own context. He reminded us of the fact that Scripture says the gates of hell will not be able to overcome the church. The gates, meaning, the church will march right into the darkest places and the forces of hell will not be able to hold us back! He made me laugh the most too, which is probably why I liked him so much. He doesn't seem to take himself so seriously.

Altogether, it was a good time. I feel pretty lucky that things like this are right here in my city. It allowed me the opportunity to bring my wife along for the ride as well. So that's always a good thing.

If you're interested in hearing the audio from the conference, you can find every session here.

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What's your favorite story?

Just curious. Maybe it's a movie, a book, a historical event, a sports story, or a personal story. I think about the idea of story quite a bit, and I'd love to get beyond the idea and hear some real life stories. So tell me your favorite, and then tell me why it's your favorite. What about it makes it stand out to you? Why do you love it?

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Cookout

This Saturday May 30, Story Church will host our first public event. We're having a free cookout at Brier Creek Community Center from 11-2. That makes this a pretty busy week. It's been great for me to watch our team function from their giftedness and to pull all the details of this event together. We are hoping to feed more than 100 people, and to hopefully share with them the vision of Story Church. If you live in the Triangle, we'd love to see you there! Please pray with us that this event is a success and that we will come into contact with the right people - people who are longing for community, and eager to be a part of a life-giving church.

Hope to see you there!

By the way, for my west coast friends... You may be asking, "What's a cookout?" A few months ago, I would have asked the same question. This is what you and I know as a "BBQ". However, here in the south "BBQ" is something much more specific and pork-like. You can't just throw a burger on the grill here and call it a "BBQ". So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

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Visioneering

I'm reading Andy Stanley's great book Visioneering right now and it is really hitting me at just the right time. As we get further along in this church planting adventure, and closer to our launch, I feel more and more inadequate and less and less prepared. I just thought I'd post a few of my favorite nuggets from the first few chapters so far and let you think about them.

"Vision is always accompanied by strong emotion. And the clearer the vision, the stronger the emotion" (10).

"God ordained visions are always too big for us to handle" (42).

"You are not responsible for figuring out how to pull off God's vision for your life. You are responsible to do what you know to do, what you can do. And then you must wait" (56-57).

"If it is just a good idea, you have to make it happen. When God gives you a vision, there's a sense in which you stand back and watch it happen" (57).

"I think it is safe to assume that most Christians are not attempting anything that requires God's intervention" (71).

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The greatest moment at Exponential 09

Francis Chan, one of my favorite guys, introduced to the tune of "Back in Black". Check it out!

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Exponential 09 Day One

Erwin McManus, Alan Hirsch, Larry Osborne. That's a pretty good day. Today was the first official day of the conference, though yesterday I attended an intensive on forming a launch team. But that's pretty specific and you probably don't care about it. I have tons I could talk about, but McManus was too good not to share. So here it is.

This guy is amazing. I have seen him a couple times before (though probably not for the last 10 years) and I've read two of his books, both of which were life changing (The Barbarian Way, Unstoppable Force). His talk centered on a passage from Acts 17, a pretty well known one in church world where Paul goes to a place called Mars Hill and begins to talk to people there about the living God. He talked about three "spaces" in which Christians interact with the culture around us. The first space is a space we know very well. It's a space in which we are quite comfortable. If you read the passage, you notice that after Paul sees the idol worship and all that is going on there he goes to this first "space" - the synagogue. He goes to speak to Jews and "God-fearing Greeks". If you are concerned about a culture, and want to affect change - why do you go to the synagogue first? Again, it's the place that is most comfortable for Paul. Most often in the church we choose to address the needs in our culture from within the church. We hope that people will come to us and we can address them in a "space" in which we are most comfortable.

Thankfully, Paul doesn't stop there. He goes on to the second "space". This is the marketplace. The place of business, of real life. It's where we live and do everything that we do. It's here that Paul begins to address the culture where they live. This is the place Erwin urged us to be. He called us as the church to be functioning from this second "space". We can't expect to impact culture from within the first "space." Many churches, many Christians for that matter, fail to live their faith here in the second space.

And then there's the third space. The third space is a place that we cannot go unless invited. After speaking in the marketplace people are interested in what they are hearing and invite him to the third space. It's their space, and Paul is invited in. It's here that Paul refers to their gods, quotes their poets, and basically speaks their language. We have to earn the right to be invited into the third space. We earn the right to be brought into the discussion. Many of us try and force our way into this third space, and end up being completely ineffective - or even counter productive.

Erwin was very transparent with us. He shared of how difficult it has been for him as a leader in living out these kinds of things. He told of the death threats, the heretic hunters that constantly bombard him and even his children. And yet he courageously dared us to risk life in the second space. He called us to be willing to trade in all of the Christian approval in the world for the chance to introduce people in the marketplace to Jesus.

I love it Erwin. I'm in.

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Crazy Month

Time to shake the dust off the old blog. I've been pretty busy lately, here's a rundown of what I've been up to and what is coming soon.

March was a month of figuring some stuff out. We began to zero in on the location of our church plant. Our application for the school facility has been submitted and as of right now we are still waiting to hear back on that. I've been doing lots of talking with lots of pastors, church planters, and leaders over the last couple of weeks. I'm asking lots of questions and taking lots of notes. As we get closer and closer to September, my list of questions is growing more and more. We are still trying to raise several thousand dollars, and over the last couple of weeks some interesting opportunities have opened up that may result in some big time gifts. Last week my good friend Barry Rice of GO Church was in town and he spent the evening with our team encouraging us and helping us to understand God's heart for the church.

Our group continues to meet every week for bible study and worship and of course some great food. After Easter we will begin separating our bible study from our launch team meetings. We hope to make our bible study a little more public, meeting in a more public place - and make our launch team meetings a little more strategic and intentional, keeping those in our home for now. We hope that through our bible study we can continue to grow our launch team and be ready for launch in September.

Last week I drove to Memphis (750 miles each way!!) to spend the week with the Yucaipa High School baseball team that I used to coach in Southern California. They were there for a tournament and while it was a long ways away, it was probably the closest they will ever be to Durham. I had a great time. They gave me a uniform and put me back in the dugout with the team just like old times. It was a lot of fun. The team is pretty phenomenal too. They won the tournament relatively easily and are now 11-0 on the year.

This week my mom comes to town, and we are really excited to see her. She hasn't been with the girls since November, so she's pretty anxious to hang out with them as well. Thanks to skype, they have seen her and talked to her, but it's not the same. While my mom is here, we'll be taking a family vacation to Orlando. I'll be going to the Exponential Conference there, and the family will be joining me in Orlando thanks to the aforementioned Barry Rice. He is totally blessing us with a place to stay so we couldn't pass up the opportunity. And of course, being in Orlando we'll be spending a day at Disney. The rest of the time, the family will be hanging out at the pool and the playground while I'm at the conference learning about church planting stuff.

Along the way this month there are some other training things I'll be doing, as well as connecting with some more mentors and coaches. There's a possible trip to Arizona coming up soon but I'm not sure when that will happen just yet.

But the best thing of all - baseball starts again TODAY! Wish I could be in Anaheim watching my halos tonight, but thank the Lord for ESPN.

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Wingsuit Base Jumping

Are you kidding me?!?!?! These guys are absolutely crazy. Some days it feels like following Jesus is like this - a thrill ride that could get you killed at any second. Pretty sweet.

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Walked out on Prayer

Have you ever walked out on a prayer? I've been places where someone in front has been speaking or teaching on a particular subject that was controversial, and witnessed people get up and leave in a sort of protest. What was being said was offensive to them so they left. I get that I guess, though I've never done it. I've always felt that we need to hear people through completely before we make assumptions about them. That reminds me of a time I was in chapel at Biola University when a speaker did his whole message as though he were Muslim. He argued for the Koran, and did the whole thing. Well, one student sitting near me was clearly getting agitated. He happened to be Asian - English was not his first language, and he clearly wasn't getting the fact that this guy was pretending to be Muslim in order to teach about what Muslim's believe. Well this poor guy stood up and yelled about how bad this guy was, and that he should worship Jesus instead of Allah, and stormed out of the gymnasium. It was all rather strange really. But I digress...

I was involved recently in a time of prayer with some people and it was the first time in my life that I considered getting up and leaving. And it was during prayer for crying out loud! What is the appropriate response to a prayer you disagree with? Do you pray back in sort of a prayer battle? Or do you refuse to say "Amen"? Anyone ever experience something like this? It was a really strange place to be in to be honest, and I have no idea how I should have handled that situation. Rather than leaving, I simply remained silent, prayed silently, and when it was over I got up and left. What would you have done?

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Durham is cool

I've lived in Durham for about 7 months now. It's kind of hard to believe. But I came from Southern California, the place on the cutting edge, the place where everything is always happening. And yet, I've found that in a few short months here in Durham, NC that maybe SoCal isn't quite as cutting edge as it wants to be. I guess what I mean by that is that there is a lot going on here, way more than I expected there to be. Let me give some examples. In these seven months I have had the opportunity to see Donald Miller (author, Blue Like Jazz), Shane Claiborne (author, Irresistible Revolution and Jesus for President), Mark Driscoll (church planter, author - Vintage Jesus), and this week Ed Stetzer (church planting guru, author Planting Missional Churches). And all of this has been within 15-20 minutes of my house. I guess it comes with living in a University saturated area. But it's awesome.

As a church planter, it's pretty cool that this area is booming with those on the cutting edge of planting churches. There's a monthly forum about 10 minutes from my house led by Summit Church called SendRDU. This is where this week I got to hear Ed Stetzer talk about the pitfalls of church planting. Oh yeah, and every one of these things I've been able to do so far have been free. Can't beat that.

In June there will be a national conference for church planters and those interested in moving the church forward. Where is it? Oh, it's in Durham. So while hundreds of people will fly in from all over the country, I'll sleep in my bed, get up late, and drive to the conference.

All this to say - SoCal is still cool. And while it can boast of Disneyland and the beach and In-N-Out, at least I have trees and seasons and Shane Claiborne. It's a pretty good trade.

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Faith

I was reading from Mark 6 this morning. Jesus is in his hometown and people are questioning his credentials and his abilities. He's the guy they've all known their whole lives. He grew up with many of them, they had hired him to do carpentry. And now suddenly he's the Messiah? I guess I can't say I blame them for their comments and their questions. It would be a little tough to wrap your mind around. But aside from that, there's a really interesting thing that Mark tells us at the end of these few verses. This is what he tells us:

"He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. He was amazed at their lack of faith."

A couple of things stand out to me about this. First of all, there is a direct link between the amount of faith people have, and God's ability (is that the right word?) to do miraculous things. Mark tells us "He could not do any miracles there...." And apparently it was their lack of faith that made it impossible for these things to happen. That all tells me that if I want God to do amazing things in and through me, I need more faith. My faith is weak. And I need to grow in that regard.

Secondly though, look at what Jesus did do. It says that he couldn't do any miracles there, "except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them." So "all" he could do was heal people? I don't know about you, but I think that healing people would be pretty unbelievable! And yet, for Jesus, he's disappointed because he clearly wanted to do more than that. Do you ever get the feeling that maybe we think and dream too small with God? I mean, sometimes I pray for God to do things like heal someone from a sickness. But how often to I pray that God will cure blindness, take away cancer, make the lame walk? What if what we ask for, and what our "faith" hopes for is absolutely nothing compared to what God really wants to do? It's a crazy thought isn't it? If God were going to decide what to do today based on your faith, what would we see happen? I know that my answer to that question is embarrassing. Pray with me that God will increase our faith.

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A revealing question

What won't happen if we don't do what God has called us to do? I've been listening lately to a leadership podcast from Andy Stanley. In a recent episode, he asked this question. From a leadership standpoint, it's important he says to get people thinking about a problem that needs to be solved, and that this question helps do that. I've been thinking a lot about it in terms of my own life, and in the life of Story Church. A couple years ago Don Miller gave a talk at Mars Hill (Grand Rapids, MI), in which he talked about story. That message is the basis of where our name came from. Anyway, he said that the way you tell whether or not a story is good is to ask the question, "What would happen if this story wasn't resolved?" He asks how would the story resolve if the hero got hit by a bus. He gave the example of his friend Jenna, who heads up Blood:Water Mission. What would happen if Jenna's story wasn't resolved? People would die. She provides clean water wells for millions in Africa, and if she couldn't continue - thousands if not millions would die. That's a good story!

I have friends who are living great stories. One friend gave up a huge career opportunity to go spend a few months working in a health clinic in Africa. Another friend is rescuing a whole generation of kids in one of the poorest communities in Guatemala. Another friend goes every week to hang out with his friends who are homeless in downtown Raleigh, for whom he buys boots in order to take care of them in the cold. Still another friend planted a church for 20 somethings who were burned out on a church that was disconnected with the world around them. Now they are providing food for families that are HIV+ and have adopted them as part of their mission. What would happen if these people didn't do what God called them to do? What if instead they pursued something else? Like the American dream, success, fame, money, etc. It's so tempting isn't it? To spend our lives trying to better ourselves, to have more, to achieve more.

What won't happen in your life if you don't do what God has called you to do? Who won't be mentored? Who will go hungry? Who will suffer from an absent father or mother? Who will be sick? Who won't be loved? Who won't experience grace and forgiveness?

For me, I wonder what won't happen in Durham if Story Church doesn't do what God has called us to do. What marriage won't be rescued? What family won't be redeemed? What person will give in to hopelessness? What addictions won't be broken? For many churches in America, we fail to ask this question, and the church suffers. We grow inward, we fail to connect with a hurting world, and we basically become irrelevant. It's not the way God intended His church to be. God invites us to be part of something so much bigger than ourselves. He invites us to be part of a bigger Story, one of redemption and hope. I pray that you and I and the church in America begin to realize this truth and to live for something more.

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Big Decision

I'm really wrestling lately with a decision that I have to make regarding Story Church. At some point, we have to pick a location - a spot that we will sort of set up shop and seek to impact the area around us. I'm torn though. I love the downtown area, and the proximity to Duke and the opportunity that gives us for ministry to students. And yet, it feels like the area that we live is ripe for a church plant. There are several newer housing developments, very few churches, and no one who is really doing anything new. I know that no matter where we end up, God will use us. My heart and my vision has been to have an influence on the city, and on the campus. But I'm beginning to wonder if that's a bigger vision than where we are at right now. And I wonder if that is my vision, or if it's God's. So I'm going to be seeking quite a bit of wisdom in the coming weeks. Please pray for me and for Story Church as we seek God's direction for us. And help me out with something - how do you make big decisions? How does God speak to you? Do you do anything differently when you are intentionally seeking His voice for something specific?

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Sick

I don't get sick very often. But I've got it pretty bad this time. It started on Monday with a bit of a sore throat. Monday night I was up during the night with a fever, going from shivering cold to sweating and back to shivering again. Tuesday the throat was getting pretty bad. I also had some pretty bad headaches, and the occasional fever. Tuesday night - shiver, sweat, shiver, repeat. Wednesday, my throat was awful. More headaches, more fever. I haven't had much of an appetite either, since it hurts so bad to swallow. Wednesday night I ran a lower fever. This morning (Thursday) my throat felt like a bomb went off inside. So I finally went to the doctor. The first place I went was a little clinic, who tested me for strep (which I was convinced I had) and it came back negative. So they sent me to Urgent Care. At Urgent Care they again tested me for strep (I still think I have it), and it again came back negative. They also tested me for mono, and for the flu. Have you ever been flu tested before? Yeah, you may want to pass on that one. They put a real long stick up your nose until they can touch your brain, and somehow that tells them if you have the flu. It's awful. So I don't have mono, or the flu, or strep (maybe I should get tested again). I think more by process of elimination than anything else, they diagnosed me with tonsilitis. Awesome. So I got 10 days worth of antibiotics, and apparently that should do the trick.

I think sickness is intelligent somehow. It always knows when it's a terrible time to get sick, and then it jumps on you. I am supposed to teach twice this weekend. The first being our normal Story Church weekly study. The second is on Sunday morning at a church in Raleigh. They are helping me to get licensed here in the state of NC as a pastor, and they've invited me to share this week about my calling and what our vision is for Story Church. I'm excited about the opportunity, but I really hope I'm feeling better by then.

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Kicked in the face

I was just reading a blog post that might as well have been God sticking His foot right through my computer screen and kicking me in the face. Here's what it said:

GIVE UP YOUR GOOD CHRISTIAN LIFE AND FOLLOW CHRIST
I'm pretty sure the greatest deterrent to following God's leading for most of us is not disobedience, but rather the deep sadness that comes with moving hundreds of miles away from family and loved ones... the paralyzing fear of risking financial security... and the pant-soiling faith-leap of trying something new. But consider the alternative...
Posted by: Ben Arment, Risk Taking

I'm so thankful for reminders like this. The reason Kimi and I dove into this whole church planting endeavor was for that last line - "consider the alternative." I couldn't keep doing the safe, easy, no risk thing. I love that we serve a God that invites us out of the boat to try walking on water.

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Gran Torino

I love stories of redemption. Yesterday I got to see one of the most powerful movies I've seen in a long time in Gran Torino. I'm amazed at the power of a good story. As a Christian, I found this movie to be one of the best redemption stories I've ever seen. It's a story of love, of regret, and of hope in the midst of pain. Unfortunately, many Christians probably won't see this movie. To start with, it's rated R. And for good reason. It's not a family movie. The language in the movie is disturbing, from the very frequent F-bombs, to the unending racial slurs - and those from the hero! And yet, I found myself enthralled by this character, captivated by him, and wishing I was more like him. Clint Eastwood is unbelievably good. Before I go much further you should understand that while I highly recommend the movie, it won't be for everyone. Some will be unable to get past the things I've already mentioned. For others, it may be the violence in the film that is difficult. But for me, I found the film incredibly moving.

I struggle with what to say about the film, because I don't want to tell the story here. For one thing, my retelling of the story will be quite weak compared to the power of the movie. But secondly, I'd hate to ruin it for anyone who has not yet seen it, but may still. So I will try and talk in generalities here. The movie basically tells the story of a man (Clint Eastwood's character) whose wife has just died, and he finds himself alone, aging, and living in a very changing neighborhood from the one in which he raised his family. He's a Korean war veteran, who is angry and racist toward the Asians who are taking over his neighborhood. He also deals with a lot of guilt and pain from the things he did in war. Though in one amazing scene, where he goes to confession, it's his lack of any real relationship with his grown boys that bothers him the most.

Throughout the film, his relationship with his neighbors begins to change as he comes to the defense of a family intimidated by local gangs. He takes the teenage boy under his wing and ushers him into manhood - helping him get a job, talking about girls, and pushing him to succeed apart from the pressure of joining a gang. The film builds to a point where the boy next door is sucked into the belief that the only way to win is to escalate violence back toward this gang. I found myself so engrossed in this story at this point. I was rooting for love to win. I was hoping that this would not be another movie promoting the myth of redemptive violence - where revenge wins in the end. I won't give away how it ends, but I will say that it was one of the most beautiful endings I have ever seen.

One thing that struck me though - every time I see a movie like this (which isn't often!) I am amazed at how loudly our world is crying for stories like this. We want to know that a different world is possible. We want to know that in the end, love really can win. It reminds me of the important role that you and I play in this story. We have these same choices every day. They may not be as big as trying to take down a neighborhood gang, but our opportunities are there nonetheless. One of the beautiful subplots in this movie involves a priest who continues to visit Eastwood's character. He's persistent, he's loving, never judgmental, and full of grace. He longs for our hero to be free from the guilt he carries around. But he's not immune from the pain he sees. At one point he expresses his own anger about what is happening. He doesn't sugar coat it. For many of us, this is our role. We can't live as though evil isn't real. We have to call it what it is, while refusing to play by it's rules. And yet, we live lives of hope and love and grace, bringing the kingdom to life in the midst of pain. We believe that another world is possible - even already present. Love really does win in the end, and it wins today as well.

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