UnChristian - Part 3

I'm reading the book now faster than I can keep up with the blog, but I'll try and do a couple here tonight to catch up a bit. The next perception Kinnaman tackles is this: "Christians show contempt for gays and lesbians." At least so far, this is probably the most difficult perception to deal with, and maybe a bit controversial in some circles.

First, what Kinnaman is not saying. He is not saying that homosexuality is ok. He's also not saying that we should read Scripture any differently or adopt a new theology of any kind. But here's what he is saying. He is pointing out the hypocrisy of the church as it relates to this issue. There are many, many sins in the church that get simply overlooked. Divorce, gluttony, greed, pride, materialism, etc. And yet, homosexuality somehow gets raised as the sin that simply can't be forgiven. Let's agree on this, sin is bad. All sin. My sin. Your sin. Listen to this finding though in Kinnaman's research: "In our research, the perception that Christians are 'against' gays and lesbians - not only objecting to their lifestyles but also harboring irrational fear and unmerited scorn toward them - has reached critical mass. The gay issue has become the 'big one', the negative image most likely to be intertwined with Christianity's reputation" (92). He also says that "our hostility towards gays - not just opposition to homosexual politics and behaviors but disdain for gay individuals - has become virtually synonymous with the Christian faith" (92). Wow. Is that what Jesus said? "This is how they will know that you are my disciples, by your disdain for people."

As usual, there are tons of talking points from this chapter, but let me focus on this one thing. I fully believe that most Christians simply don't know what to do with this issue. It's a difficult one. It's hard to understand. But even more, unless you can put a face to this issue, you are going to have a very different view than others. Kinnaman shares a personal story about a homosexual friend who felt condemned and judged by him because of his Christian views. I have experienced some of the same things. One of my best friends as I grew up came out as gay in his twenties. All through junior high and high school people teased him because he was different. He swore he was straight. I'm positive that at that age I said things about gays that I would be completely embarrassed about now. I wonder though, did he know in high school? If so, he clearly had no safe place to share that, or to wrestle with the feelings he was experiencing. Even worse, I wasn't safe. What things did I say that may have pushed him away? My guess is that the only place he experienced grace and understanding was in the homosexual community. It certainly wasn't in the church.

Flash forward 10 years. I got a call one day from a student who wanted to come talk to me right away. When he showed up in my office I could tell he was as nervous as could be. After some small talk he eventually got around to telling me he was gay. I was the first person he ever told. Can I tell you the first thing that came out of his mouth after this news? "Am I going to hell because I'm gay?" This question wasn't just a random question. It was THE question that had given him such grief and heartache for so long. It's what kept him pretending. It's what caused him to be angry, to be socially awkward, to over eat, to hate his parents. It was fear that drove him to live a lie. It was fear that made him shake so badly as we talked. Yet, in the midst of this fear he was searching. He was reaching out because he desperately wanted someone to love him and accept him and to tell him that God still loved him. In his mind, God hated him. I wonder where he got that idea.

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Day of Silence

Today is what is being dubbed as the "Day of Silence". It's a nationwide (maybe worldwide?) push to bring awareness to the harassment, violence, and name calling that homosexual students face. It's of course sponsored and promoted by many groups. It's also of course opposed by many groups. Students in school are going to be silent for the day as a way to bring awareness to the issue and show support for those who are gay. As a youth pastor, I get lots of email and things in the mail from Christian organizations all the time. Many have focused on this day and warned of the slippery slope that a day like this can be. They have talked about the "homosexual agenda" and the "indoctrination" of our students. Many of these organizations have encouraged active opposition to our schools, including keeping kids home today. I was asked what I thought about it recently.

To be honest, I think that most of these issues that come up would just go away and not be that big of a deal if we didn't have such strong reactions to them. It's like when your mom used to say "they only make fun of you because of the reaction the get - if you stop reacting, they will stop messing with you." While I'm sure that analogy has its limits, I kind of feel like this issue is one of those things. We make it into a bigger deal than it really is. Many of the organizations I heard from were really hyping this thing up. I don't know if they had their facts wrong or maybe just my community is different, but many of the things they were warning about simply weren't true. There was no forced participation, there was no disruption of class allowed, there was no school sponsored events. It's simply a student club led demonstration of silence. What kind of indoctrination happens from people being silent anyway?

At any rate, I wrestled with what the Christian response should be to something like this. I definitely think the Bible is clear about homosexuality - it's a sin. But I don't share the view that somehow homosexuality is worse than heterosexuality outside of its proper context of marriage. I see pride, arrogance, envy, materialism, injustice, self-righteousness, hate, racism, lust, and every other sin as being right there along side homosexuality. In fact in the Scriptures it seems like things like being disobedient to parents is listed right along side homosexuality as sin all the time. I wonder why there is such a strong reaction to this particular sin? I understand for many they see it as an attack on the family. But so is divorce, and pornography, and selfishness, and lots of other things that we don't get that riled up about.

In youth group this week, I led a discussion about all of this. Our students really seem to get it. Most of them would agree that homosexuality is wrong. They believe the Bible to be their authority on that. And yet, they see that anger and protests really aren't the best way to respond to things like this. For one thing, they simply reinforce the picture that Christians are against everything. There is very little we are known for being in favor of. But secondly, they understand that grace is big. It's really big. It's big enough to cover my sin, as well as the sins of others. They also realize that the Scriptures are pretty clear about who gets to judge people for their sins, and it aint us. The Scriptures are also pretty clear about loving people, and that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. I love to picture Jesus when he was confronted with people in sin. Take the woman caught in adultery for example. Jesus agreed that the law said she ought to be stoned for her sin. But in an absolutely brilliant moment he is able to point out to everyone there ready to kill this woman that they are all guilty of the same law. When they all walk away shamed, Jesus turns to the woman and says "where are your accusers?" They are all gone, the woman responds. And then Jesus says "Neither do I condemn you." Wow! That is huge! Of course it doesn't end right there, because Jesus, like he always does, is constantly moving people closer to the kingdom and to Himself. He loves us way too much to let us stay where we are at, or to let us continue the way that we are living. He tells the woman "Go and sin no more." It's beautiful really. I don't condemn you, but take a step forward. Learn to live life better. There is a right way to live. There are things that are true. But Jesus seems to invite people to discover that reality rather than condemning and getting angry with sin. More than anyone else, it's the religious people that Jesus seems to get angry with.

There are many other examples of Jesus doing this same thing. The woman at the well who was on her 5th man, living with him, not married, divorced 4 times. There's Zachaeus, who was a well known swindler and thief. In fact his story is amazing. Jesus simply says "I must eat at your house tonight." Instantly, Zachaeus is transformed, voluntarily repenting of his sin and making restitution with everyone he had stolen from.

Well this is a long post. But I hope that the church will become more intent on taking on the name of Jesus than we will be with pointing out sin. Jesus - "Friend of sinners." How great would that be?

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