My dream for STORYCHURCH

This Sunday at STORYCHURCH we talked together about Ezekiel - a sort of unsure prophet who God uses to speak life into a bunch of dry bones. By the time Ezekiel is done speaking to them, they are standing in front of him - not as a bunch of dry bones, but as a vast army with tendons and flesh and the breath of life in their lungs.

Imagine the scene! Ezekiel is speaking and the bones start rattling. A leg bone flys across the valley and attaches itself to a hip. A spine stands up and ribs attach themselves. Soon tendons start forming and flesh appears. And then the breath of life enters their lungs and a huge gasp is heard.

I believe God wants to use STORYCHURCH to be a voice in a valley of dry bones. I believe he has positioned us to speak hope and life, to dream dreams for people that have lost the ability to dream those dreams themselves. One of our primary roles is to remind people that God isn't done with them, and that hope still remains - that we serve a God who resurrects the dead!

What if every time we gathered in homes, in coffee shops, or in our Sunday services - there were dry bones coming back to life? What if our worship was constantly accompanied by the rattling sound of bones being joined together? I believe we can be that kind of community. I believe God is ready to do amazing things in and through us - and many of you have already experienced it. Many of you were nothing but dry bones, and now you have life like you never had it before.

I'm asking you to beg God with me that we would see this happen on a regular basis. That lives would be put back together, hope would be restored, marriages renewed, families rebuilt. Finally, I'm asking you to be bold. Become an Ezekiel in your neighborhood, in your work place, and in your families. Speak life into places of dryness, speak hope into the darkness, and dream dreams for people that they can't dream!

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Easter in West Village

I am so excited about our upcoming Easter service on April 24 in downtown Durham's West Village. We have a unique opportunity to meet in a location that puts us in the heart of our city, and only a mile from Duke's campus. Because this is such a new thing for us, you can imagine that there is lots to do to make sure we have a great celebration together. Below you will find some of the specific ways you can get involved.

INVITE - We would love to see more than 200 people in attendance this Easter. Invite your friends, invite your coworkers, invite your neighbors, invite the mailman, the banker, your barista, and anyone else who comes within 10 feet of you! This Sunday (4/17) we will have 1,000 invitations to give you to pass out all over the city. You can also invite people through Facebook here, or by sending them this link.

PRAY - Pray that God would do something incredible in our church this Easter. Pray that people who are without hope would come into contact with a community celebrating the resurrected Jesus.

GIVE - Doing something this big and this different comes with lots of extra costs for us as a church. If you want to help us reach our city, consider giving above and beyond what you would normally give.

BRING - We are collecting flash drives (1 GB or larger) and scientific calculators (not graphing) for an incredible ministry in Durham known as the Genesis home. We'll be collecting them on 4/17 and Easter 4/24.

TAKE - This Sunday 4/17 we will have Easter baskets for you to take home and fill for kids through the Durham Rescue Mission. We recommend you fill it with fun stuff (candy, toys, stuffed animals) as well as some practical things like socks and a toothbrush. Inside the basket you will find all the details you need to fill it and drop it off at the right place by Friday, April 22. If you'd like to volunteer your time at their event, follow the link to find out more.

SERVE - If you can help us set up on Saturday 4/23, or if you would like to help us welcome guests on Easter, please email us and let us know!

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Another first for STORYCHURCH

There are only so many things we can do "for the first time". We've had our first service, our first Easter, our first Christmas eve, our first anniversary, and now our first baptisms. Yesterday we had the amazing opportunity to baptize five of our own - five people with stories of life change that will never be the same. Lee, Will, Thy, Jillien, and Connie led the way and took the courageous step of baptism.

We weren't sure exactly how it was going to work. We ended up borrowing a portable baptistry from Pine Ridge Church in Burlington, NC where my friend Tadd pastors. It worked out really well. The biggest fear was whether we would get the tank filled in time, and whether we would freeze to death or not! haha. We had some trouble getting it filled at first, as all the hoses we brought were frozen solid. But we eventually broke up the ice and the water started flowing. However, the water did end up pretty cold, but we all survived.

I loved hearing the stories. Each person shared a bit about what had led them to that point. Each story is unique, and yet each one has a similar thread - people lost on their own, and now full of joy and peace as Jesus has changed them. Lee was an atheist, Will drove by for months and saw the church before he ever gave it a chance, Thy had never been to church before his wife dragged him to Story Church, Jillien has found new life in the midst of a chaotic transition, and Connie has found peace amidst a very difficult road as a single mom.

It's beautiful really. The way that Jesus takes people from all walks of life and all sorts of situations and begins to change them from the inside out. I'll never forget this Sunday. It was the first of what we hope are many, many days of celebrating life change and watching people embrace the story they were meant to live.

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Courage pt.1

This week we launched a brand new series at STORYCHURCH called Courageous. In case you missed it, you can listen to the message here. My plan is to reflect a bit more each week here on the blog to both reinforce what we're learning together and to give opportunity for further learning and discussion together. So jump in to the discussion!

I believe that when it comes to Courage, there are several myths we believe about those that seem to have it and those that don't. Let's tackle a couple of those here.

Myth #1: Courageous people aren't afraid.

It's funny really to think about, but many of us really think this must be true. We see people that take courageous steps and we assume that they don't feel the fear that keeps me and you grounded. We say things like "I could never do that" and we justify our fears as something we could never get over. But the truth is that courageous people are just as scared as you and me. Maybe even more so. Because unlike you and me, they actually put those fears to the test. Instead of being potentially dangerous, or potentially risky, they remove the "potential" and just go ahead and live the dangerous and risky. I love how in the Scriptures there is this constant command to not be afraid. Joshua is told around a dozen times between Moses and God himself to not be afraid, to be strong and courageous, to not fear. The only reason you tell someone to not be afraid is because they are afraid.

Myth #2: Courageous people have clarity about the future.

We often tell ourselves that we would go ahead with that dream in our hearts if we only knew what would happen next. We assume that courageous people take acts of courage because somehow they know that in the end it's all going to work out. The truth is that courageous people are just as fuzzy about the future as you and me. They do have clarity though - clarity about a vision, a desired future. But how they will get there? They have no idea. And yet, they take the steps they need to take to begin to see that vision become a reality.

The reality

Fear and uncertainty will never go away as long as you follow Jesus. The truth is that as you follow Jesus and as He begins to transform you, you will begin to dream crazy things. He will start to birth a vision in you that seems ridiculous. And at some point you will have the opportunity to either follow Him in obedience or stay where fear and uncertainty leave you alone. But I can promise you this, that as you choose to be courageous, the call of Jesus will be stronger than the fear and uncertainty. He will strengthen you and will never fail you.

Courage is being willing to do what you already know you should be doing. Many times we hear from God and it scares us so much, that we decide we'll go ahead and start "praying about it" for the next five years. Stop praying about what God has already told you to do. Be obedient.

What are your thoughts? How has fear or uncertainty paralyzed you in the past? What do you think God may be calling you to today?

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One year

Yesterday we celebrated one year at Story Church. One year. Wow. Someone asked me recently how the vision for the church matches up with the real thing now that we're a year in. It's a great question really.

The mission of Story Church is to help people embrace the story they were meant to live.

So the question is, how well have we done at doing that? In what ways are people embracing a new story, a different story, and beginning to embrace a larger view of their life and the place and role they play in the bigger story God is telling? Here are some of the ways I think that has been happening in year one:

• People who were without hope have found it.
  Some of them had no relationship with Jesus or his church a year ago, and today they are passionately following Him. Others had lost hope that church could really be a life-giving community where people were real and authentic in their pursuit of Him, and have begun to see that in Story Church.
• We are finding ourselves a part of a bigger story.
  For the first time there are lights coming on for many of us that are realizing that following Jesus isn't just about the "some day". It's not just about being forgiven and one day ending up in heaven. We are beginning to see the invitation of God to participate in the redemption and restoration of the world. And that's exciting.
• The world is a different place.
  Story Church has literally changed the world. A dozen kids around the world are now being cared for, fed, educated, and supported as a result of our people. 600 people in one village have clean water now that didn't before Story Church. A second village will be getting their clean water well soon. Women who were rescued from sex trafficking were given jobs. 100 needy kids in Durham were given backpacks full of school supplies to start the school year. Single moms were given fun days out with their kids. Church planters were funded, resourced, and coached.

So how well is the vision lining up? Pretty well I think. But like I told our church this week - we are no where near what I believe God wants to accomplish through us. I fully believe that we are just scratching the surface of what God has in store for us.

So let's get on with it shall we? Year two is here. The Story has yet to be written. Let's write with a renewed passion and energy to see even more people embrace the story they were meant to live.

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Hey Story Church - help us out!

If you attend Story Church would you do us a favor? We believe that what God has been doing in us and through us is something amazing. We believe that the life that we are experiencing as a result is something that should be shared with others as well. There are lots of people out there looking for a life-giving church. So would you do us a favor? Here are a few ways you can help us to get the word out:

• Write up a great review on Yelp.
• If you blog, put a link to Story Church on your blog.
• "Like" us on Facebook.
• Follow us on Twitter and retweet us every chance you get.
• Most importantly? Live an authentic, loving, generous, Jesus-centered life. There is no greater invitation than that!

Thanks for helping us get the word out!

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Numbers

The number 100. It's a good number. A nice, round number. It's the first number that is three digits instead of two. And up until recently it was a number we had never reached at STORYCHURCH. That is, until yesterday. Yesterday, on my birthday, we had 101 in attendance!! It was exciting, not just for me, but I think for most of the people in the church who have been with us for a while. It's feeling fuller all the time and it's fun to be part of something that is growing and picking up momentum. And I think God calls us to celebrate. We SHOULD stop and take notice and party and rejoice over cool moments like this one. I was personally on cloud nine all day yesterday and woke up today feeling about as good as any Monday morning I can remember.

Numbers are important. They tell a story - not THE story, but a story. The reason we celebrate milestones like that is because every one of those 101 people is a life that is being touched and changed as they interact with and approach Jesus. And as cool as 101 is, we keep pushing and praying for more. The reason? Again, because we want to see as many lives as possible transformed by the good news of Jesus.

But there are some dangers with numbers as well. So as we celebrate, here are a few things I caution myself and you with today:

• The DANGER OF ACCOMPLISHMENT - There is a danger with every milestone to pat ourselves on the back and say "Look at what we accomplished." I never want to be in the place where I think that any of this had anything to do with me. God chose to speak through donkeys before. The fact that He would use us is pretty awesome, but make no mistake - God is the one moving and changing people's lives, not me and not Story Church.
• The DANGER OF LEGITIMACY. I don't know what else to call it. There's a real sense in which a certain number carries with it a level of legitimacy. Like, we're for real now because we had 100 people. I never want to lose the awe over the fact that ANYONE shows up! It is a miracle to me, and what God is doing in the life of 1 is just as important as a crowd.
• The DANGER OF DECEPTION. When our numbers are down, I often feel like we failed. When they are up I feel like we are the best church in the world. I make the mistake sometimes of assuming God is at work when lots of people show up, but that he isn't when they don't. It's a lie. The reality is that I often hear the greatest stories of life change on days when we have some of our smallest attendance numbers.
• The DANGER OF COMPARISON. It's real easy to start comparing ourselves to other churches, other ministries. I sometimes find myself comparing myself as a church planter to other guys doing the same thing. God hasn't asked us to plant their church, He's asked us to be faithful with ours. No matter what God is doing somewhere else, we must be faithful to do what he calls us to do.
• The DANGER OF RESTING. Last I checked, there are still hundreds of thousands of lost people in the Triangle. Celebrating 100 is fine, but this is no time to rest. We aren't even beginning to scratch the surface of what God can do in us. People need Jesus and they are lost without Him! That truth has to continue to drive us to help people embrace the story they were meant to live.

To my friends at STORYCHURCH, my fellow story tellers - we are just getting started. As we celebrate this week the things God HAS done, don't lose sight of what He still WILL do. Pray for continual impact, for opportunities to share, and that we will hear more and more stories of God changing lives in our midst in the days ahead. I'm so blessed to be on this journey with you guys!

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One of those days

Well, today was the day I always heard about. It's the day when everything that could have gone wrong in church planting did. I started off the day tired already. It was a late night, getting back late from a long drive from Virginia. One of the Sunday morning rituals for me is to move the van out of the driveway to make room for the truck that comes in and pulls our trailer out of the garage. And so it began - a dead car battery. We were able to get it jumped pretty quickly, so disaster averted. Once we got to the school, things continued to go south. We had sound issues, a broken guitar that led to a weird mic situation and feedback. Then it was the computer's turn to go haywire. For some reason all of a sudden the display on my computer went crazy. Every slide for every song and every announcement suddenly went crazy and resized itself, including changing the size of the font. With a mad scramble we managed to fix it. But then about 5 minutes before we started I realized that one of our songs was wrong. We were playing "Nothing but the blood" - but not the old version, but the newer Matt Redman version. In other words, wrong lyrics, wrong order. We scrambled to type it in as fast as possible.

It was a wild morning. And I suppose we should have expected it. It was the first time we celebrated communion as a church. It turned out to be a very powerful morning. A morning that I will never forget. We experienced something this morning that I haven't seen yet. Despite all of the things that went wrong - the presence of God was powerful. As Alastair Vance tweeted - "Egg on your face, devil."

As we were cleaning up, one of our key leaders said "It's over! Nothing can go wrong." We had a good laugh. And then we noticed that this week's message failed to record. Geez.

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Easter Recap

At the risk of being way behind here, I didn't want to let Easter squeak by without saying a couple things about how things went at STORYCHURCH.

First of all, I couldn't be more proud of our team. Many people worked very hard in order to make it a really special morning. We had a really great celebration of Resurrection. We kicked off a brand new series on Easter, called EPIC. It's basically an exploration of the story of God and our role in it. Easter Sunday proved to be like one of those movies that starts with the pinnacle scene of the story, and then the rest of the movie is spent showing the build up to that moment. Resurrection is the pinnacle scene of the Story. It changes everything, and it's the filter through which we interpret everything else in the Story.

We promoted the heck out of Easter. We did a huge mailer in the community, spent several hours out hanging door hangers, had signs up all over the place, and ran Facebook ads like crazy. Despite our efforts, we didn't see the huge number of visitors that we had anticipated. For me it was just one more reminder that you can't manufacture the movement of God. I'm certainly not anti-marketing. I think it's important to let people know we exist as a church and that they are invited. But the fact is, that God doesn't need a mailer to build the church. And for me it was just a gentle reminder that He is in control, and this thing is in His hands. It's so easy to get caught up in the belief that crowds equal success or God's favor. It just isn't true.

The most exciting thing for me about Easter was the growth we DID see. Not numerical growth, but growth that took us deeper as a community. After the service we did an egg hunt for the kids and one for the adults as well. I know, kind of silly. But this wasn't your average egg hunt. It turned into a giant community building day. Aside from the hunting of eggs, people were laughing, playing, joking, and seriously having a great time. I was really proud of our leaders that put it together and even more excited by the relationships I'm seeing form. Community doesn't happen in the hour on Sunday mornings when we gather for worship. I mean, it's part of it, but sometimes it takes a crazy egg hunt to get people to begin to open up and do life together. And that happened on Easter for us.

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Living Water International

View Larger Map

At Christmas last year, Story Church participated in the Advent Conspiracy. Many of us decided to spend less at Christmas on stuff we didn't need, and instead to give toward clean water wells for people that really needed it most. This week I was notified by Living Water International that the well we helped to build has been built. The well is in Bozoubolo in the Central African Republic (see the map above of the exact location of the well). It serves more than 600 people. I can't tell you how excited that makes me! The fact that as a church, before we even officially launched, we had helped to build a well that provides clean water for 600 people is amazing to me. And I think this news came at a great time. For me, its a reminder that what happened at Christmas matters most because of what happened at Easter. The baby who was proclaimed by angels at Christmas was good news to the world because he would one die and free us from sin and death and usher in a new kingdom. It's a kingdom of life and love and grace and hope. It's why Jesus not only proclaimed truth, but he demonstrated the fruit of the present kingdom through miracles of healing. For us as a church, we celebrate the baby Jesus as well as the risen Lord, and we embrace the role we play in the resurrection story. My desire for us is that while we proclaim good news to the world, we are also demonstrating it through acts of justice and mercy. And today, 600 people are experiencing life giving water as a result.

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Six weeks in

This last Sunday was our sixth Sunday together at Story Church. Today seems like a good day to give a quick recap and assessment of where we're at as a church. The reality is that we are beginning to see the dust settle from our launch. It's been an incredible beginning - but it's just a beginning. Our first six weeks were kind of strange. We launched with a series called GROW. But in week 2 the earthquake in Haiti hit, and we set our series aside to tackle head on the issue of suffering. We had our biggest offering that day - which we gave away to Haiti relief. Week 4 was snowed out, so our original 4-week series ended up lasting six.

Since our launch, we continue to see new faces each week. People continue to hear about us from facebook, from yard signs, and now we're beginning to see people get invited by their friends. As a pastor, I'm most excited about seeing people get connected relationally, and beginning to get plugged in through serving.

One of the important lessons I've learned in these first few weeks is to define the "win" and keep that in front of me all the time. For us, a "win" is seeing people who don't normally go to church coming and getting involved. It's seeing people ask questions, take steps to further their relationship with Jesus, and seek healing and wholeness in their relationships. And we're seeing tons of those things.

As a confession, it's real easy to get caught up in numbers like attendance and offering - two realities a church needs in order to sustain life. But to keep the "win" in focus has been huge for me. I know that those other things will take care of themselves if we stay true to the vision God has for us as a church - to help people embrace the story they are meant to live.

If you are a Story Church attender - what have been some of the highlights for you so far?

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STORYCHURCH Launch

Yesterday, after four and a half years of dreaming, we finally launched Story Church. It was one of the greatest days of my life - to see a vision become reality. I was so proud of our team and so amazed at our God. There are seriously so many highlights, but I'll try and name some of them here.

- Our team did a tremendous job. I am amazed at the people God has assembled here at Story Church and the gifts they have.
- Final attendance was 96 people. More than double what we had at our preview services.
- We learned a lot about what works in getting our name out around here. We did a smaller (5,000 piece) direct mail campaign, yard signs, and facebook ads. By far the facebook ads were the most successful in getting people to our site, and ultimately to the service. The combination of yard signs and mailer did well (when people got a mailer and saw a sign). However, for other church planters - for the cost, I can't recommend Facebook ads more highly.
- Our band, led by @alastairvance did amazingly well.
- Our setup was different this time. We added a significant amount of pipe and drape, and moved our sound board and media off to the side as opposed to the back center of the room. The pipe and drape really gave the elementary school gym a much better feel and created an intimate space. It's a little more labor intensive than I like in a mobile church environment, but I'm sure we can develop a better system for that.
- We had a new sound board and a new projector - both of which worked out really well.
- Just saying, there can't be a better spread of food anywhere in the kingdom of God.
- Our kids ministry rocked it - I heard nothing but great things from parents.
- When I finally got up to preach, I was pretty amped up but also quite emotional. It took a few deep breaths and a prayer to get me calmed down enough to speak my heart. In the end, I think it went really well.
- We gave away John Eldredge's book Epic to everyone there - a great book for a church named STORYCHURCH!
- Overheard "Is this going to be every week?!"
- Met a girl who recently moved here from AZ. Found out she went to the church of my former youth pastor, mentor and friend Linn Winters at Cornerstone Chandler. We were all amazed at the connection.
- Met several young couples looking for a church home. Lots of PhD students. Not sure I'm smart enough for this crowd.
- Got so many emails, texts, and twitter messages from friends and other pastors that encouraged the heck out of me.
- Jesus was lifted high!
- We get to do it all over again in 6 days!!

You can hear this week's message here, and see more pictures here.

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100 Days

Today marks the 100 day countdown to the launch of Story Church. Depending on your perspective, that can either seem like a long time, or not much time at all. For me, it's more of the latter. A couple of months ago the plan was to launch on September 13. I had a hard time giving up that date and pushing things back, but I am so glad that we did. I can't even imagine what things would have been like if we had tried to push it. We simply wouldn't have made it.

So what is there to do in the next 100 days? Here are some of the things we are trying to accomplish in no specific order:

1) 3 preview services - Oct. 11, Nov. 15, and Dec. 20. The previews serve two purposes - to allow people to see who we are and maybe get excited enough about our vision to join our team. And secondly, to let us practice and try and figure this thing out.

2) To grow our team to about 35 adults. It just takes a certain amount of people to be able to hold babies, serve people, etc.

3) To raise money. We are trying to be good steward of what we have, but it simply costs money to start a church that meets in a rented facility. There is sound equipment, kids ministry stuff, food, advertising, rent, insurance, graphic design and more to pay for.

4) Serve our community. We are trying to build into the DNA of Story Church that we are going to be a church that not only exists within our community but that we play a vital role in it. Our desire is to be a generous, life-giving church. That doesn't happen on Sunday mornings alone. So we are beginning to find our place in Durham and the ways that we can live out the gospel to all people.

I'm so excited for these next 100 days. They are vitally important days. They are days of faith, of great dependence upon God. Pray for us and for Story Church. And if you are in the Triangle area, let us share our heart and vision with you. Come out and visit us on October 11 for our next preview. All of the details are on our website here.

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First Preview

Now that we're two days removed from our first preview, here are some things that we learned as a team:

1) We knew we had a lot to setup, but we didn't really have tasks assigned. So we ended up looking like a 5 year old soccer team - all of us together running around chasing the same problem.

2) Flexibility is the name of the game in a portable environment. When we showed up, there were 200 chairs set up and the back wall of the gym was open into the cafeteria. While we ended up getting it closed and most of the chairs put away, right from the start we had obstacles we weren't planning on.

3) We needed start times for each of our jobs. What time should we be at the door greeting? What time should the band be done? What time should kids registration start? etc.

4) Our screen is too big. Seriously a 9' x 12' screen is cool, but way too big for our setting. Because of the size we had very little flexibility on our setup and it had to be way over on the side which caused people to look sideways to see it.

5) Transitions. They need work.

6) Borrowing from three different sound systems is confusing. It made for a much more complex setup and teardown. "Is this mine, or yours, or theirs?" Next time we'll try and piece enough together to use just our own stuff.

7) Connection Cards are awkward. We didn't really know when in the service to do them, and it just felt weird.

8) Money. In our effort to not talk much about money and not make an offering a big deal - we ended up making it a big deal. haha.

9) Our band rocked. Too bad they may be all different next time!

10) This is stinking fun. I could give my life to this kind of thing.

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Today

Today is the day. It's so cool to work toward something and pray about something for years and then finally get to catch a first glimpse of it. Today is the first preview service for Story Church. We'll be meeting at 6pm at Spring Valley Elementary School. I am so proud of our team. They have worked so hard over the last few months to get ready for this day. They have given of their time, their resources, and have served this community without any negativity or complaining.

It's quite humbling to know that there are literally hundreds of people praying for us today. At my home church in CA they will be showing a video from us today, and spending some time praying for us and our service. Many others have committed to pray for us on this day as well.

I feel a sort of nervous excitement. Part of me thinks we're going to knock it out of the park, and the other part of me hopes someone shows up! Either way, we can't really do anything about that now. We realize as a team that today is a necessary step for us whether anyone shows up or not. It's a day that we need, as a team. We will learn so much today about our systems, about our readiness, and about our ability to be flexible when we need to be.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted about how things went. In the meantime, you can check out the new website that went live today at www.storychurch.org.

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Plans vs. Vision

"Plans change, vision stays the same." I listened recently to another Andy Stanley leadership podcast that hit me at just the right time. I asked on twitter last week for people to be praying for me as I had some pretty big decisions to make. I feel like God really answered many of those prayers by allowing me to hear this particular podcast. In it, Andy talks about how many of us fail to realize that our particular vision is not the same as our particular plan. I know for me this church planting adventure that I am on is one where my plans and the vision God has given me sometimes get confused. I think this is common for many of us. Maybe your vision is about a particular ministry, or about your business, or even a particular vision for your family. Our plans become so important to us. After all, we pray about them, we align our finances around them, we follow our plan to the greatest detail. But which is more important - the plan (how I will accomplish the vision), or the vision itself? Sometimes we have to be willing to be flexible with our plans. Plans change, vision stays the same.

In my context my church planting plan has had some significant changes along the way. The vision has continued to stay the same. Our vision is to plant a life-giving church that encourages people to embrace the story they were meant to live. It's a vision that calls people out of boredom and into the life God intended for them. And yet my plan has often gotten confused with that vision. Originally my plan was that this would happen primarily in downtown Durham. When God began pointing me closer to the Grove Park area, I struggled with that. How could we change our focus like that? Oh yeah - downtown isn't the vision, a life-giving church is the vision. More recently I've wrestled with a new change of plans. For a year I've been planning on launching Story Church on September 13, 2009. And yet recently, I've come to terms with the fact that we aren't ready to launch. At first this was a devastating reality for me. How can I change my launch date?? Oh yeah, September 13 isn't the vision - a healthy, life-giving church is the vision. September 13 is a plan. And it can change without affecting the vision.

How about you? What's the vision you have for your life, your career, your family, your marriage? Is that vision married to a particular plan, or is the plan flexible? If we don't learn to flex the plan, our vision can die with a bad plan. Good vision thrives at the right time with the right plan - but it's not the same as our plan. We die for vision, but not for our plans.

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Date Night

To all my married friends out there, what's the rhythm of your marriage? How often do you go on a date with your wife? How much do you spend? What are some of the creative things you've done for cheap? My wife and I would like to go out every week, but we have basically no money - so we need some creative ideas. Help a brother out!

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Trust me

I was reading a very familiar proverb today when something occurred to me that I never noticed before. It comes from Proverbs 3:5-6 in the Old Testament of the Bible. It says this:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

You see, I've always pictured trust as being one of things we do when, based upon the facts at hand, we make an intellectual decision to go along with the situation at hand. We decide to trust, and in doing so, we trust with our heads. But today I noticed something different. This particular verse says to trust "with all [our] heart." Our hearts are the center of our will. It's the place where we sit on the throne. It's definitely an area of decision making, but it's not an intellectual decision per se. It's a decision to place our will in submission to someone or something else. We "trust" when we submit our will. Solomon (the writer of Proverbs) places this trust in direct contrast to "our own understanding." He knows that all too often we want to fall back on our own wisdom, our own experience, our own understanding. Trust is difficult. Trust is required when we don't have all the answers, when things don't make sense, or when things are outside of our control.

The other thing I find interesting here is this: Solomon is said to be the wisest man who ever lived. And yet Solomon is saying that we shouldn't lean on our own understanding. If anyone could have done some leaning on their own wisdom you would think it would be Solomon. Which basically tells me, I'm in trouble if I think I can do life on my own.

I love the promise here that if we trust God, and acknowledge Him in all our ways, he will make our paths straight. He'll clear the road. He'll take care of us. I've experienced that so many times. The times of biggest stress in my life are when I look around and realize that I'm depending on myself instead of Him.

How about you? What do you think of trust coming from the heart? What do you think that looks like?

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Declaration of Dependence

Independence is overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love living in a free country, but I'm a bit over the individualized existence so many of us live. Somewhere along the line we as Americans, maybe even as Christians, have come to the conclusion that we are the center of our world, and that we don't need anyone else. We have become our own masters, and even those of us who call ourselves Christians have become very independent of each other - after all, all I need is Jesus, right? In what has been a very difficult, trying, and stressful time - I'm declaring today my complete and utter dependence. I am learning just how dependent I am on others. Kimi and I live and pay our bills because of the generosity of others. We live on their monthly support which allows us to focus on ministry here in Durham. So we are dependent upon so many in that regard. I'm also learning more and more what it meant when God said "It is not good for man to be alone." We were created for relationships. None of us can live the kind of lives we were meant to live without investing in relationships. We left California 11 months ago now. That's hard to believe. I've learned over these months just how dependent I am on having friends that I can lean on, and friends that lean on me. I've really missed that. None of us is created to do this life solo. I am learning more and more about the depth of relationship available in my wife as well. She is my closest friend, my greatest ally, my strongest supporter and encourager. I am dependent upon her in so many ways.

Ultimately, I am dependent upon my God. I am dependent upon him for his provision, for his love, and his grace. I've made some pretty huge mistakes along the way in my life, and it's my dependence upon him that has sustained me through those times. I'm dependent upon him for hope, for forgiveness, for restoration. I'm dependent upon him for direction, for wisdom, and for guidance. I am trying to plant a church with people I don't yet know, and money we don't yet have. I'm dependent upon him to build his church.

In our finances, we're dependent. In our marriage, we're dependent. In our parenting, we're dependent. In our relationships, we're dependent. In this church plant, we're dependent.

I think we're afraid of being dependent, or maybe just of admitting it. In doing so, we admit our weaknesses, and our need for others. That's not usually the kind of thing we like to announce or celebrate. But I wonder what we're missing by being so independent? In the midst of celebrating a country that is free this weekend, I'd challenge you to celebrate and embrace your dependence.

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10 years and counting...

We got married pretty young. I was 21, she was 20. But in our defense, we dated for four years counting our engagement. It's not like it was a rash decision. I look back at our wedding pictures now and I see it - wow, we were young. But God has been so good to us. We are truly more in love today than we were on that day. I seriously feel like I'm still getting to know her. It's as if layers of depth continue to be unfolded for me, and I see her in new ways all the time. I have friends and family whose marriages haven't enjoyed the same kind of growth and love. I've seen people close to me split and relationships torn apart. I'm not naive enough to think that I'm immune from that kind of thing. As if somehow my marriage is indestructible. I think it's precisely because of that fragility, that I work so hard at protecting it. Marriage is not easy. It's not a given. But it is the most life-giving, beautiful thing in the world when it functions the way God intended. I get to wake up every day and win the heart of my wife all over again. Some days I do that well, others days I fail. But tomorrow I get to do it all over again. I have been so blessed by this woman. She stretches my faith, she teaches me about love and sacrifice and humility, and I am simply a better follower of Jesus because of her.

Anyway, here are some of the lessons I've learned along the way. I'd love to hear some feedback from others of you who've learned similar or other lessons.

1. Don't go to bed angry. Seriously. Don't do it. There have been times when we've laid in bed where the silence was thick. I might lay there for an hour, but at some point we're going to talk. I won't ignore it. I won't let it go. The second you choose to let it go and bury it, is the second you've stopped fighting for your marriage. Seriously, this is huge.

2. Serve each other. Whether it's cleaning up the kitchen, taking the kids so she can relax, or when she makes me food, or encourages me to go hang out with the guys. There's no "I" in marriage. oh wait... How about "we" is more important than "me."

3. Date. We've always tried to get out and do stuff together. Really in the last year though this has become so important for us. I find that as we get busier, and as stresses increase with finances, kids, etc. it's even more important that we don't neglect dating each other. For many people the difficult times create strain on their relationship. For us these have become important times of connection. I find that we grow deeper and stronger through adversity rather than fragmenting. And that's not because it just happens. We force ourselves to spend the time, to talk through the pain, to confront the elephant in the room.

4. Honor God. I don't know what else to call this. But maybe the best example of this is in finances. Statistics say that finances is the #1 reason marriages don't make it. The stress of paying bills, the differing priorities when it comes to spending, all of that can be quite a threat to a marriage. We have found that God's way really is the best way. And I know that sounds trite or whatever, but stay with me for a second. We just don't argue about money because we are committed to honoring God with our finances. That means we give generously, no matter the circumstances. We have always lived within our means, refusing to carry debt. What debt we had from school and cars, we've aggressively paid those things off. We've also tried to save so that we would have margin in times of difficulty. Right now is one of the most difficult financial times of our marriage. And yet, there is a strange peace in knowing that because we have committed to honoring God in this way, we don't have to worry.

Andy Stanley recently gave a talk about Pathways. He says that the path you're on determines the destination. I know that isn't all that profound, but it's surprising how many people don't understand that. The direction you are headed will determine where you end up, not your intentions or desires. When we left CA to move to NC, we could have done all the planning in the world. We could have mapped out our travel, all our stops, created a budget, all of that. But if we had gotten on Interstate 10 and headed west, despite all our best intentions, we would have ended up at the Pacific Ocean, not in NC. Many people want to have a healthy marriage. They want to grow old with someone and they dream of raising an incredible family together. But then they get on the 10 and head west. They make decisions along the way that lead them on a different path, not the one they intended to be on. And when they get there, they wonder how it happened. Their intentions and their desires for their marriage and their family don't line up with where they find themselves. Kimi and I have a destination in mind. And we believe that the things I mentioned above (along with many other things like sacrifice, commitment, trust, accountability, etc.) will get us there.

Here's to the next 10 years, and hopefully many more beyond that!

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