Late Night

In the early years of our marriage, we used to stay up really late a lot of nights hanging out with friends or watching movies. Since we had kids, that all changed. But ever since we moved to the east coast, we've kind of gotten back into this late night thing. It's weird, I don't know why we do it. Most nights we're up until at least 11pm. But on top of that, I get these occasional really late nights. Nights when I lay in bed wide awake, with a thousand things running through my head. This is one of those nights. So it's 12:20am right now, and I can't sleep. Most of the time when I can't sleep it's due to worry. I worry about finances, about relationships, about our future. Tonight I can't quite place it. I think I'm troubled, not so much worried. I'm troubled for other people. Their burdens, their struggles. I have some close friends who are struggling, being alone for the first time in their lives. Others are trying to figure out what to do with their lives, and their faith is being challenged in a way it never has before. Others are at their wits end feeling like life has ganged up on them and that it's always going to be this way. Today was an especially difficult day for my wife too. Joy wouldn't take naps, Hannah just craves her mom's attention all day. On top of that, she carries the burdens of her friend in CA. I feel pretty helpless in these situations. I want to help these people, I want to tell them all that it's going to be ok. But there's not much I can do really. It's one of those do less, pray more moments. So that's what I think I'll do now. Pray.

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UnChristian - Part 6

Ok, so this is the last perception that Kinnaman deals with in his book UnChristian: Christians are prideful and quick to find faults in others.

Pride. The chief of all sins according to C.S. Lewis. This perception is one that we really need to hear. When we speak to those outside of the church, many feel that we are simply more interested in proving that we are right than we are in sharing about God, or about caring for the person with whom we are speaking. Many said that we simply love to hear ourselves talk, and we have no interest in hearing what someone else believes. "Nearly nine out of ten outsiders said that the term judgmental accurately describes present day Christianity" (182). Later, he says "Arrogance is perhaps the most socially acceptable form of sin in the church today" (191). Wow. We've got a big problem.

Given the fact that the Bible makes it pretty clear that God alone is the judge, not us - what are we thinking? Why do we see so many Christians who view it as their personal mission to let people know that God hates them, or that they are some how less worthy of God's grace than we are? That grace thing is sneaky isn't it? It's like we come to God in a moment of complete need and desperation and we experience unmerited grace. And then we spend the rest of our Christian lives pretending we deserved it.

Kinnaman finds six things that outsiders told him could help reduce this perception. They all boil down to respect. I suggest we follow all six really closely.

1. Listen to me - talk less. Pretty simple.
2. Don't label me - using words like "lost", "pagan", or "nonchristian" aren't particularly endearing.
3. Don't be so smart - Don't pretend to know everything. It's ok to say "I don't know".
4. Put yourself in my place - This comes with really listening. Try to understand where they are coming from.
5. Be genuine - don't try to inject spirituality into every conversation whether it fits or not.
6. Be my friend with no other motives - don't befriend someone for the purpose of one day inviting them to church. It's fake, and people see right through it.

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UnChristian - Part 5

Here's the next perception that Kinnaman deals with: Christians are primarily motivated by a political agenda and promote right-wing politics.

In this election year, I've personally really struggled with the level of involvement a Christian should have in politics. I've had conversations with other pastors about how much the church ought to get involved in politics and/or patriotism. Should we celebrate the 4th of July in the church for example? I'm looking forward to reading Shane Claiborne's newest book that deals with this topic. But anyway, back to UnChristian.

Where does this perception come from? Statistically, Kinnaman shows that people outside of Christianity "recognize Christians in politics more readily than in any other sector, including music, movies, sports, or business" (154). The reality is, there is no other sector of life that Christians jump into more than politics. It's where we make the most noise. And I think that's because there is an underlying belief that says that politics and legislation are the way that you change the world, and/or it's the way to protect and uphold our Christian freedoms and worldview. Some would say that the way to make the world a better place is to legislate and enforce a Christian morality. But is that really the case? Because it sure doesn't seem like Jesus believed that. It seems to me that Jesus believed in a kingdom that was subversive in a whole different kind of way. In the garden just before his crucifixion Peter cuts a guys ear off in what was no doubt a struggle for power. What does Jesus tell him? "Put your sword away!" And Jesus heals the guy. In fact, he basically tells Peter, "If I wanted to play the power game, don't you realize that I could call millions of angels right now and these guys would be toast!?" Instead, Jesus realizes that you can't change the world by playing by its rules. It's done through love, service, sacrifice, generosity, grace. The old saying is true, that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. We can legislate behavior, but it's no way to change the heart. And isn't that what God is really after anyway?

So what do we do with this perception? Do we bail on political involvement? No! In fact, I think we embrace it, but we do so in a different way. A more holistic way. For one thing, as Christians we're basically known as speaking and voting on two particular issues -abortion and gay rights (marriage, etc.). Certainly those are important issues. But when was the last time the church was passing petitions around for the sake of the poor? The single mom? The HIV infected? The homeless? Isn't all life sacred? I think this is why this year we are seeing way more evangelicals singing the praises of Obama. Many are tired of being in the pocket of the Republican party, simply because they throw evangelicals a bone or two with the abortion or gay marriage issue. For one thing, let's let our candidates know that we care about the poor, the outcast, the orphan and the widow. Let's be known for coming to the defense of the defenseless. Let's stop promoting one particular party as if it is somehow the party of Jesus. Let's be clear on this - Jesus is not a Republican. He's not a Democrat. He cannot and will not be co-opted by any political party. And let's be known for how much we support our government officials, whether we agree with them or not. That's still biblical right?

But mostly, let's live in such a way that says regardless of any election, or any law that does or doesn't get passed, or who is sitting in the oval office, we will love people, serve them, and stand up for those who suffer injustice because that is the heart of God.

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Thank you!

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that has been praying with us that our house in California would rent. We just got word tonight that a tenant has signed a one year lease!! God is good!

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It's back!

Fall is a great time of year for many reasons. The cooler weather, the wind, the colors. But let's be honest - this is why we all celebrate fall. The return of "The Office."

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UnChristian - Part 4

The next perception is this: "Christians are boring, unintelligent, old-fashioned, and out of touch with reality."

The perception is that Christians are simple minded people who aren't very educated, believe in some silly things, and basically have no idea what the real world is really like. I have to say that in some circles of Christianity, that probably isn't too far from the truth. But overall, while the perception may not be true, the reality is that it's how we are perceived.

Here's the main thing to me - younger generations are more than willing to live in a world without all the answers. Previous generations have prided themselves on figuring it all out, from science to theology. Everything was neatly categorized and boxed. Newer generations are excitedly exploring all the intricacies of life, and are highly skeptical of anyone who says that they know the answers to life's most difficult questions. They are comfortable with difficult questions, with contradicting answers, and with the unknown. For me, this is a breath of fresh air. I love to hear people wrestling with ideas. I love that younger generations aren't satisfied with pat answers. I'm also really excited about a generation that is comfortable with a growing understanding of God. God teaches me new things all the time. My understanding of Him grows. And there is so much that I don't get. I just don't understand Him. And that's ok! Who wants to serve a God that we can completely understand and disect? I want a God that is Big. A God that I learn more about all the time. A God that surprises me in the ways that He does things. A God that speaks through people, and then bushes, and then donkeys. The day that I have God figured out and I have all the answers is the day that I have made God in my own image. He doesn't play by my rules, I don't understand Him, and that is beautiful.

I think what these generations are saying to the church is this: Don't be afraid to say "I don't know." It's ok to not have the answers. Don't take huge complex issues or ideas and boil them down to 3 easy steps, or 5 keys to this, or some funny clever acrostic. Share your opinions, share your journey as you've come to understand something, but don't be so quick to package it, and mass-market it. Younger generations love to hear your story, but they want their own story too. They want to learn and experience these things for themselves. They are eager for this. As the church we need to provide opportunities for people to explore, to ask questions, to grow and to wrestle with deep, difficult ideas. And if they leave asking more questions, that's ok too. Isn't that what we want? I'd rather someone come searching and leave with a hunger for more, than to have them come with real questions and leave with a bookmark. Let's not trivialize God.

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UnChristian - Part 3

I'm reading the book now faster than I can keep up with the blog, but I'll try and do a couple here tonight to catch up a bit. The next perception Kinnaman tackles is this: "Christians show contempt for gays and lesbians." At least so far, this is probably the most difficult perception to deal with, and maybe a bit controversial in some circles.

First, what Kinnaman is not saying. He is not saying that homosexuality is ok. He's also not saying that we should read Scripture any differently or adopt a new theology of any kind. But here's what he is saying. He is pointing out the hypocrisy of the church as it relates to this issue. There are many, many sins in the church that get simply overlooked. Divorce, gluttony, greed, pride, materialism, etc. And yet, homosexuality somehow gets raised as the sin that simply can't be forgiven. Let's agree on this, sin is bad. All sin. My sin. Your sin. Listen to this finding though in Kinnaman's research: "In our research, the perception that Christians are 'against' gays and lesbians - not only objecting to their lifestyles but also harboring irrational fear and unmerited scorn toward them - has reached critical mass. The gay issue has become the 'big one', the negative image most likely to be intertwined with Christianity's reputation" (92). He also says that "our hostility towards gays - not just opposition to homosexual politics and behaviors but disdain for gay individuals - has become virtually synonymous with the Christian faith" (92). Wow. Is that what Jesus said? "This is how they will know that you are my disciples, by your disdain for people."

As usual, there are tons of talking points from this chapter, but let me focus on this one thing. I fully believe that most Christians simply don't know what to do with this issue. It's a difficult one. It's hard to understand. But even more, unless you can put a face to this issue, you are going to have a very different view than others. Kinnaman shares a personal story about a homosexual friend who felt condemned and judged by him because of his Christian views. I have experienced some of the same things. One of my best friends as I grew up came out as gay in his twenties. All through junior high and high school people teased him because he was different. He swore he was straight. I'm positive that at that age I said things about gays that I would be completely embarrassed about now. I wonder though, did he know in high school? If so, he clearly had no safe place to share that, or to wrestle with the feelings he was experiencing. Even worse, I wasn't safe. What things did I say that may have pushed him away? My guess is that the only place he experienced grace and understanding was in the homosexual community. It certainly wasn't in the church.

Flash forward 10 years. I got a call one day from a student who wanted to come talk to me right away. When he showed up in my office I could tell he was as nervous as could be. After some small talk he eventually got around to telling me he was gay. I was the first person he ever told. Can I tell you the first thing that came out of his mouth after this news? "Am I going to hell because I'm gay?" This question wasn't just a random question. It was THE question that had given him such grief and heartache for so long. It's what kept him pretending. It's what caused him to be angry, to be socially awkward, to over eat, to hate his parents. It was fear that drove him to live a lie. It was fear that made him shake so badly as we talked. Yet, in the midst of this fear he was searching. He was reaching out because he desperately wanted someone to love him and accept him and to tell him that God still loved him. In his mind, God hated him. I wonder where he got that idea.

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UnChristian - Part 2

The second perception that Kinnaman deals with is this: Christians are insincere and concerned only with converting others. In this chapter he touches on a number of myths about how people come to be Christians. I was going to go over each one, but I think instead I'll just talk about the one that stood out the most to me. That is this - "Anything that brings people to Christ is worth doing." Many churches pay huge dollars to do evangelism efforts that will reach tons of people at the same time. They may mail Bibles, or tracts, or other Christian material to homes in their community. Or they will do an event and then sneak in Jesus at the end. Kinnaman says that the research shows that such efforts will create three to ten times as much negative response as positive. In other words, for every person that responds positively and moves toward Christ, three to ten others will move away from Him even further. This is huge. The perception of people is that they are simply a number, a notch on a belt, a statistic. Can I ask a really difficult question? Is that really just a perception? Do we care about them, really care about them? What if that person that you befriended tells you that he or she has no interest in Jesus - what happens to the friendship? What is our motivation? Do we seek conversion, or friendship? Do we love unconditionally, or with an agenda?

Here's a confession for you. As a pastor I struggle with evangelism. It's not one of my gifts, nor is it something I get excited about. Let me clarify. I struggle with the whole make-a-decision-and-pray-a-prayer kind of evangelism. Let me explain. I've done plenty of "raise your hand and pray this prayer" kind of sermons. But if I'm honest, they always feel awkward and weird. I feel like I'm trying to sell someone on something. It's almost like I'm trying to be a used car salesman. Just get them to sign on the dotted line next to the "as-is, no warranty" line and once they drive off my property it isn't my problem anymore. We get so geared up and focused on the decision. The prayer. The raised hand. The checked box. Don't get me wrong. I believe that people need to make a faith commitment to Christ. There's a place in there somewhere where people acknowledge their need for a Savior. But it seems to me that while this is an important step, it certainly shouldn't be where it ends. Nor should it be the highlight. To me the highlight is someone who is learning to walk with Jesus as his disciple. Kinnaman says "Intentionally or not, we promote the idea to outsiders that being a Christ follower is primarily about the mere choice to convert" (79). We need a more holistic approach to being a Christ follower. We need discipleship. We need to do life together with people. We need friendships that run deep. It's not as flashy, not as noticeable, not as numbers driven. It's slower, harder, more messy. But it's real. It's genuine. It's authentic. It's discipeship. Now that's something that gets me excited.

I'll end with this one other quote from Kinnaman and then I'd love to hear feedback. "Transformation is a process, a journey, not a one-time decision. This resonates with Mosaics and Busters. The depth and texture of Christianity ought to appeal to young people, but the unChristian notion strains life in Christ into mere mental allegiance to a religion. The truth is that when a person makes a commitment to Christ, it is just the first step into a much larger reality" (82).

Thoughts?

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UnChristian

I'm finally getting around to reading David Kinnaman's book UnChristian. I bought it right after it came out, and then it joined the list of books to read at a later date. For those of you who may not know about this book, Kinnaman is a researcher who works with the Barna Group. This book is the result of research he did into the perceptions of 16-29 year olds on Christianity and the church. As someone who has worked with this age for the last few years, I'm finding the book to be an affirmation of so many of the things I have seen and heard in young people both inside and outside the church. So here's the plan - Kinnaman says that in his research there were basically six broad themes that continued to surface from people. Over the next week or two (depending on how long it takes) I plan on spending a little bit of time on each of those six themes. I'll review a bit of what he says, and try and give my own take on my own experience and perceptions. So anyway, here goes.

The first theme that he touches on is the perception that Christians are hypocritical. By that, he means of course, that we are perceived as saying one thing and doing something different. With that, is the idea that Christians pretend to have it all together and in reality they are just as messed up as everyone else. And the evidence backs that up. In just about every lifestyle activity, Christians and non-Christians are nearly identical in their behavior according to the research. There's a serious problem here. Of course the lives of Christians probably ought to be a bit different than the rest of culture. But beyond that, I'm more concerned with the fact that while most of culture is pretty open about their behavior, Christians (generally speaking of course) pretend that they have squeaky clean lives. In a culture that values authenticity and transparency, a little bit of honesty could go a long way.

Here's a thought, what if we stopped pretending and starting owning up to our own junk? How huge could that be to people who want nothing to do with us because we look down at them for their behavior and in reality our lives are generally no better? What if the church was a place of open dialogue about our struggles and failures as we attempt to follow Jesus? Kinnaman gives the example of a friend who taught a five-week series in his church entitled "Confessions of a Sinful Church." What a great idea. It reminds me of what Donald Miller and his friends did in Blue Like Jazz. They dressed up like monks and set up a confession booth in the middle of their secular campus. But rather than people coming in to confess sin, it was Miller and his buddies who did the confessing for all of the junk that Christians and the church have done in the name of Jesus.

My own experience has echoed this research too. I can't tell you how many conversations I had with students for whom this issue was keeping them from embracing Jesus. They were afraid to become like the people they couldn't stand. Other students who were part of our church already would often confront me when they thought I wasn't being real with them. I couldn't get away with anything. When I had a bad week, I better not try and put on a face and talk about joy. They could see right through me. I appreciated that about them so much. I learned from them all the time about living an authentic life. They seemed to have no problem living authentically. In fact, sometimes I wished they would put on a face a bit. Their willingness to be so authentic often led to situations of brutal, blunt honesty. That's fine when it's just you and them talking, but it's a whole different thing when you're in a group setting with other adults who don't share their willingness to be so transparent. But I think these students got it. They refuse to carry on a version of Christianity that is fake or forced. It's also why I think there is great hope for the church in the future. There is a generation of Jesus' followers who are forging a new path. I pray that we learn from them and learn with them as we advance the kingdom.

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Acts

I've been reading through the book of Acts. I figured that's it a good thing to be doing seeing as how we're trying to start a church here in Durham. It's amazing to me the way things were happening in the early church. Entire paradigms were being shifted. There is the shift from Old covenant to New, the extension of God's grace from the Jewish people to include even Gentiles. There's the shift in dietary rules, the movement of the Holy Spirit, a well known terrorist becoming one of the apostles. Wow. Why do we tend to think that all the cool stuff happened way back then? I mean seriously - is God still moving and active or isn't He? Didn't Jesus say that the gates of hell would not be able to hold back the church? Didn't Jesus say that we would do even greater things that He did? It sure doesn't feel like it most of the time does it? I want to believe that Jesus meant those things. I want to believe that its possible for a church to exist that is literally transforming the culture around it through the power of the gospel.

Along with Acts, I've been reading Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution. You need to read it. I'm warning you though. Don't read it unless you are willing to have some of your foundations rocked. You won't be able to read it and continue on with life as usual - let's put it that way. I'll give a more full review of it in a couple of days. I'm still digesting and wrestling with it. The cool thing is that Shane will be in Durham in January to speak at Duke's chapel. So I'm looking forward to that.

It's been interesting to read about the early church, and then read one person's perspective on where we've gone wrong between then and now. Shane is living out the kingdom like no one else I've heard of and there is such power in it. It's the kind of power that makes you really believe the things Jesus said.

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2008 Western Division Champs!

That's right, my halos just got through polishing off the Yankees to capture their 4th title in 5 years. Bring on Boston or whoever the heck comes out of the East. I may be on the east coast now, but I will always be an Angels fan. Now, let's keep the best record and get home field advantage. How about 100 wins? That would be nice.

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A Franciscan Benediction

The church we went to this morning here in Durham was awesome. They ended the service by reading this Benediction together, and I think it is one of the most amazing prayers I've ever heard. May this be true of all believers everywhere.

May God bless you with discomfort

At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships

So that you may live deep within your heart


May God bless you with anger

At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,

So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.


May God bless you with tears

To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,

So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and

To turn their pain into joy.


And may God bless you with enough foolishness

To believe that you can make a difference in the world,

So that you can do what others claim cannot be done

To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.


Amen to that!

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You throw a baseball like a girl!

I don't usually venture into politics or discussions about politics. But I have been really blown away by what is going on in our country over the last couple of weeks. Regardless of what your specific political views are, this last week has been a history making week for us as a country. One party has nominated an African-American man to be their presidential candidate, and the other party has nominated a woman as part of the presidential ticket, meaning she could be president if McCain keeled over, or potentially after his terms are up. Wow. How far have we come?

But as someone who works in the church, I am quite intrigued by the incredible support for Palin coming out of the conservative Christian ranks. I don't think it's a bad thing at all, she is pretty impressive. But it is interesting that in many of the churches from which Mrs. Palin is gaining such support - she would not be allowed to lead. In other words, she can lead our country, make decisions that affect millions of people, but she couldn't take on any kind of leadership role in those churches. A blog I read regularly is that of Dan Kimball, and he raised this issue today on his blog. You can find it here. What do you make of this?

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Look at these girls!

Holy cow they are gorgeous.

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Good Times

I've realized lately that I tend to focus on the negative a lot. So today I wanted to comment on all this is good. Durham is really cool. I love the combination of living in a historical, old city and also one that is growing and progressing - full of college students and people moving into the area. We walked the other day down at the American Tobacco District - a really cool restored part of the city that was once a thriving tobacco industry, and is now a bunch of restaurants and businesses. It was really fun to hang out there and to explore.

The storms here are really cool. Lightning and thunder like you wouldn't believe. The trees are unbelievable. For those who live here they probably don't realize how different this is from the rest of the country. The green here makes my home town look like the Sahara. And I can tell you from recently driving across the country, thank God He didn't call us to New Mexico... or Texas.

Speaking of what's right with the world - my wife and kids. They are awesome. They teach me God's love every day. I am blown away at how big Hannah is getting. To hear her pray - wow, there is nothing more sweet in all the world. And Joy is well... so joyful. She is always smiling. She is so happy.

And the Angels! Come on now - absolutely dominating the West. Even though I don't get the games on TV anymore, praise the Lord for mlb.tv! I get to watch all the games online, so that is awesome.

So am I the only one that tends to get swallowed up by stress and all of that and forgets to practice gratitude? How about you? Despite all the stuff going on in your life, how has God blessed you?

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The Job Search

So my hand is getting tired of filling out applications, I've done quite a few of them lately. I think so far I've applied to Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, Lowes, Chili's, 2 different golf courses, a cafe, a restaurant, Dick's sporting goods, and I'm sure I've forgotten something in there. So far, no takers. I would love to work at Barnes and Noble, and I've had two significant conversations with the manager, who happens to be from Fontana, CA - so that was cool. But it looks like there aren't any openings right now. I'll keep looking though! The goal is to get a job that will not only help us pay the bills, but that will allow me to get to know people in the area and to better understand the community. So I'm trying to get jobs that will allow me to interact a bit with other employees as well as customers.

In other news, we might have a renter.... Pray hard!

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