Stress

Life feels kind of crazy right now. I think I'm in one of those stressed times that I get into every so often. I notice that I start to get more quiet, I withdraw from my family, and I don't really want to do much of anything. It usually starts with finances, which is exactly how it is this time. There are certain rhythms to our finances. It seems like we do OK for a few months at a time, and then suddenly the bills all come at the same time, there isn't a paycheck coming for a while, and we have almost no cash in the bank. I don't know why I stress about it so much. Like I said, this seems to happen every few months, and we always make it. God always provides for us in amazing ways. And yet, I still stress over it.

Add to that our newly growing family. Joy had her worst night ever last night. She had us up almost all night long trying to get her to sleep. I was definitely not happy about it as I was really tired. I let that frustration come out, and I think I left my wife in a position where she felt like she had to deal with it. On top of that, Hannah has an infection of some kind that makes her scream in pain every time she goes to the bathroom. So this morning Kimi is taking her to the doctor, trying to tote the baby around, and having to watch her sister. Meanwhile, as she is pulling out of the garage we notice she is almost out of gas - back to the finances....

Ahhh!! I'm just frustrated today. I've also missed our winter retreat this weekend in order to be home, and that has really been weighing on me. I'm glad I have been home to help out with Hannah and with the baby. But at the same time I feel like I missed out on a weekend of hanging out with our students.

Listen to me, I sound selfish and whiny this morning. God help me to change my attitude and suck it up. I know that you are faithful to meet all of our needs and I just need to trust you. I don't think it's any accident that this is the week I'm supposed to talk about the 4th commandment in my series on the 10 commandments. This is the one about the Sabbath. It reminds me of the need for a rhythm of work and rest in my life. I feel like I get plenty of time off, I'm just not sure I use that time to rest. So it will be good for me to study this command and refresh my spirit as we discuss sabbath this week. In the meantime, I need to buy my wife some flowers. She's amazing and I need to remind her of that today.

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Friends

Friends are really important. I know a lot of people. It seems like everywhere I go I run into someone I know from high school, or from church, or from a sports team, or from ministry. All those are great, but I have very few friends. I don't say that in a sad way at all. All I mean is that I believe in a friendship that runs deep. It's something that binds people together through the good and the bad. I have one friend who has had some really tough things happen in his life lately. I've watched him struggle through this thing and I wonder how he would do if it weren't for friends. I remember reading Aristotle back in college. In the Nicomachean Ethics he talks a lot about friendship. I wrote a paper back then about the similarities between his view of friendship, and the things Jesus says. Aristotle views friendship as something that happens when we have the other person's interests in mind more than our own. That sounds a lot like Jesus. When I think about the people I know, this is the thing that separates my friends from everyone else.

There are only a select few that I know would do anything for me. They would take a bullet for me. And there are only a few people that I know that I could honestly say I would do that for them as well. Those people are so valuable to me. They care about me, they pray for me, they encourage me, they make me laugh. My wife is the epitome of this. She is the one that keeps me going all the time. I love her as my wife, but I value her friendship so dearly. The best times of my life are when I am sitting around with friends just laughing, telling stories, and sharing all that is good about life together. But I also have some very painful moments in my life that are burned into my memory. It was in those moments that my friends were needed the most. They cried with me. They sat in silence with me. It wasn't their words that meant so much to me, it was simply their presence.

I'm trying to learn to be that kind of friend. I want to be a source of hope and encouragement, but I also don't want to speak when I shouldn't. There are some times when even words of encouragement can seem like a loud gong. There are times when we just need to be silent. I recently read through the book of Job again. I was really taken back this time as I read it by the so-called friends of Job. To be honest, I just wanted to punch them in the mouth. Job is absolutely suffering, and while I'm sure they were well meaning, their words are just annoying. They just need to shut up. I pray that God will give me the sensitivity to know when to speak and when to be silent. I don't want to turn someone away from God by speaking what I think are words of encouragement into a time when only silence is required.

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Strange and Sad

Our high school and college students leave this weekend for Winter camp up at June Mountain for a few days of snowboarding. I'm a little sad about it today because this year I'm not going. We decided months ago that I would stay here because of the baby, not being sure when she would arrive. So a friend of mine is going to teach and the rest of the staff is covering everything else. It's the first time I've been home while the youth group goes anywhere. So today we were going over any of the last minute things that need to be done and I guess it just really hit me that I won't be there. I don't really like snowboarding/skiing, so missing that part of it is totally fine. But I love the drive, talking with kids on the bus, the hanging out in the rooms, the meal times together, even having them laugh at me as I struggle to ski without falling. Man, I just love our students.

While the students are at winter camp, I'm going to Biola on Saturday for the alumni game. That's always fun - just to see my old teammates and hang out and laugh together. I miss those days a lot. Then on Monday I have a coaches meeting at the high school, and from there baseball will be starting for me - which means my life is about to get pretty busy. I need to make sure I am intentional about spending time with Hannah and with Kimi. It's going to be real easy to be tired, but I just have to keep it as a priority. Trying to balance my family, my ministry, my coaching, and my thoughts about everything else is going to be a challenge.

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Joy!

She finally arrived! Joy Cara Copeland was born on January 11, 2008. Kimi and the baby are doing great. We are so blessed to have this healthy baby girl. She was 7 lbs, 7.7 ounces. That's right - 7-7-7. They told us to go to Vegas. She was 20 inches long. She's got a tint of red hair, which my mom was really happy about.

We really felt all the prayers that people were offering up on our behalf. We felt for a while like we wouldn't get pregnant again. It was our three year old (at the time) daughter who began praying in faith that God would give us a new baby. She prayed and told us that "God said yes."

Then when we got pregnant it was more praying - since we had a miscarriage just before this pregnancy. Then when it came time for delivery, more praying. Right before the baby was born we prayed that the delivery would be a safe one. Joy came out with the cord wrapped around her neck. We didn't really know what was going on, but before she was even all the way out I heard the doctor say "Get NI" which I knew meant the NICU people. Something was definitely wrong. Three or four people came running into the room and grabbed Joy and began working on her. She had made one small cough when she first came out, but other than that she seemed lifeless. She wasn't breathing, she was blue and she wasn't moving. I felt so helpless in that moment. Kimi didn't know what was going on, because she was kind of out of it. But I knew things weren't good. All I could do was watch the nurses faces as they looked at each other and communicated with each other about what was going on. The real scary moments were probably less than a minute long but it was the longest minute of my life. Finally they brought Joy over to Kimi and she got to see her for a minute or so and then they took her off to the NICU. I followed them over there and spent some time with her and watched as they continued to have her on oxygen and hooked up to heart monitors. It was definitely a scary time. I felt like God was definitely present there with me and helping me to trust him. Joy stayed in NICU for about 4 hours. I made a few trips back and forth between Kimi and Joy, trying to make sure that both were doing well. When they finally wheeled Joy into our room I literally felt a load lifted off of my shoulders. Joy had entered that room in more ways than one.

So now it's been almost a week since she was born. She's eating well and sleeping a ton. We are really blessed. Hannah loves her new sister and is so proud of her. She loves to show her off, show people her room and help in any way she can. We've had people bringing us food every night which is awesome. We've been eating really well!

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