Old

Today is the day. My 30th birthday. Wow. I can no longer be in my twenties. The kids in my youth group have been harassing me for a month now about this day. They have all declared that I am officially old now. I guess someone in their twenties is still just in the age bracket above them, so it isn't so bad. But thirties? Apparently that's ancient.

I went to bed feeling achy, woke up a little sore, went to the gym, and now I feel totally weak. It can't be because I turned 30 can it? At any rate 30 is a good number. It definitely feels a bit different than most birthdays. I've always been a goal-setter. Big achievements, accomplishments, etc. give me cause for reflection. I don't know that you would call turning 30 an accomplishment, but it's definitely a milestone. I am definitely feeling a bit reflective today. I am asking questions like what has shaped me this first 30 years? What did I do for the kingdom? Probably even more pressing a question is what now? I know that despite what teenagers say, 30 isn't old. But it is a pretty decent chunk of a normal life. So what will the next 30 years look like? Where will I be? What will I do for the kingdom? What kind of husband and father will I be? What kinds of joys and heartaches will I experience? How will I push myself to new limits, etc.? You know, Jesus didn't start his ministry until he was 30. So what new things does God have in store for me in ministry? I feel a restlessness stewing inside me. I think God is moving me toward a new stage of my life. Will some things stay the same? I hope so. Will some things change? I hope so.

I know that God's faithfulness to me in my life has been unbelievable. I feel like he has taken me through every stage of my life with a purpose in mind. Nothing has been wasted. Some of the things have been painful, and some of those things still linger. Other things have been incredible sources of blessing, and they continue to bless me every day. But all of it has shaped me. The man I am today is not the same man who turned 20. And I hope it won't be the same man who turns 40. But that is a long way away - and man that is OLD!

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